Used To This

~What Happens At The Ball?~

Camila's P.O.V.

Mornings never felt so nice when I was pregnant then with Skyler. I could remember not wanting to crawl out of bed just because I feel so sick, hoping that I could just ditch the office and nor work at all because of the bad morning sickness I keep having.

My head was literally pounding, it felt like a hammer hit me on my head countless times as it kept throbbing, with that I was so drowsy and almost close to fainting. Aside from that I feel nauseous every 20 minutes, I keep puking even if I at am work and thank goodness really Shawn didn't notice me that much then or else he would know that I was pregnant if he questions me about my weird movements.

My whole body literally couldn't adjust that easily with the new growing baby inside me then, everyday it feels so much awful to even wake up in the morning. If I was given a choice I would rather sleep for the rest of my life and wake up when the first trimester ended, it's just that bad!

Another thing that makes my pregnancy so distasteful is that I was only able to see the love of my life from afar, I was only able to see the father of my child in one room as he is beyong reach. It was so hard to just keep looking at him, not touching him or feeling his warmth that he provided me and the love that was so deep that formed then when we were in San Fransisco.

It was the most loneliest pregnancy that I was able to have, it was my first time and I was filled with fear and nervousness. I was all alone, I had to tend to my own care, I had to act fine even if I wasn't just to keep this façade that I have no idea who Shawn is or have not known him since then. No one was there to comfort me, to hold me in his arms and whisper sweet nothings to make me feel so special as we are pregnant of the abundant love that we have.

It was so lonely and sad then, I almost surrendered to the loneliness and fear but I knew that I have to be strong, that I have to fight not only for myself but also for our baby who in time for sure will meet his father. I have to fight for the love that Shawn and I have in hopes that one day everything would go back into it's right place just like what happens now.

Now, I am with Shawn. We are pregnant once again but this time this is a very lovely pregnancy, I don't feel sick at all, I feel so much loved and taken care off, I feel like I am a queen being make feel special. I've ever felt this happy and loved before, it seems like I am the most happiest woman in the world if it weren't for these secrets that haunts me all the time.

Compared to the pregnancy I have with Skyler, this one is definitely the one that I love but that doesn't mean that I value this child more than Skyler. I love him with all my heart, he did give me a hard time during my first trimester but it's completely normal considering that it is my first time and those are the most common symptoms of pregnancy.

Skyler would always be the love of my life.

It might be too early to say this but the bond that he and I have are just incomparable to the new addition to our family in the near future.

No one would dare be compared to him as the hardships we have, the journey we both had. Skyler had such a hard life when he was young, he had no father for 5 whole years and yet he can't bear to blame or hate him for being absent in his life. Skyler knew that Shawn loves him even if he still hasn't met him, he knew that his father would love him unconditionally just like me.

Our son just proved to me that he's the most strongest boy I know. He did inherit so many things from Shawn and I am so much thankful that he was able to gain his father's strength and willpower, his soft and kind heart was one of the most important and special thing for me to see.

Everyday, Skyler is becoming more and more like Shawn, he's growing up so well that it made my heart swell with pride and love.

Yet this happiness of mine needed to end for a bit...