Mannat......A Love Story

46. New Feelings

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48. NEW FEELINGS!

I was feeling so overwhelmed with so many conflicting emotions. I don’t know why, suddenly I found  it very hard to even speak to Hussain, couldn’t even look at him…. why everything got so strange all at once… just a signature and…. And everything changed between us, my heart was throbbing hard.

 I was clenching my seat belt in my lap and with the other hand I was holding those marriage papers… my marriage papers. I was simply looking out of the window, Hussain was so quiet not talking at all… but I could feel his gaze upon me on and off.

He was my… my husband? It sounded so… well, it sounded beautiful but scary at the same time. Slowly I looked at the front and glanced side ways at Hussain….he was looking at the road, his grip on the steering tight, I could feel his muscles tense. Was he… was he regretting it? I felt pain deep down somewhere and looked out of the window.

I didn’t know where he was taking me? to my apartment or his home…. His home? Or our home? Oh God! I thought I would puke, my tummy was hurting now. I let go of the seat belt and wrapped my arm around my torso, Ahhh! The pain was increasing…. It was anxiety or nervousness or dunno what but I didn’t like that a bit. Hussain was regretting his decision? Why the hell he is so silent?

I started looking out of the window, my eyes shifted to the side mirror and I could see a black porche behind us… I thought I saw it at the marriage registrar building as well…..and wasn’t it the same car we saw in our building parking today? I narrowed my eyes… oh! Mannat! there would be so many black porches here in NY, stop assuming things. Already there was a lot of mess in my head… I shook away the thoughts and closed my eyes.

HUSSAIN’S POV

I wish I was that seat belt and her hands clenching me that tightly… I looked side ways at her and sighed inside. But I knew it wasn’t the time of cracking silly jokes… i-have-a-lot-of-mess-in-my-mind… it was clearly written on her innocent face and I seriously didn’t want to freak her out any further.

It was a big… no the biggest step of our lives that we had just taken, she was no more any girl sitting next to me, she was my wife now… my biggest responsibility. And yes I was  scared inside…. what if she got hurt? what if my decision brings more misery in her life? I wont be able to bare that God! Please take care of her and make me that strong to stand with my wife through every thick and thin.

I was happy there was no doubt in that…..I did not have any regrets, it was my decision and I knew pretty well what and why I decided that. I wish I could tell her right now… I could calm her down, her tension, that anxiety she was going through…

I looked at my right and found her resting her head on the head rest closing her eyes…. I just stared at her face, she was going back tomorrow… Ahh! This is painful even the thought of it is painful, I looked back on the road.

Instead of taking her to my home… which was officially our home now, I took her to her own apartment and parked the car inside in the shed, her eyes still closed. Oh! She slept…. I turned a bit to my right unbuckled my seatbelt and bent down a bit towards her. she was sleeping still had those restless feelings on her face.

I looked out, it was almost dark by now…. I took hold of the papers and put it in the dashboard of my car, coming out of the car I went to her side and opened the door. I bent a little down and unbuckled her seat belt… I could feel her heart beats… calm and smooth. My eyes shifted to her face, slowly I snaked my hands under her and felt her heartbeat quickened…. Ahhh! She just feels my presence around her…. I picked her up in my arms and she opened her eyes looking at me… flushed, I smiled down at her while she just stared into my eyes.