Ghosts ✔

126 • Dana

"Juice, my love..." She had barely mentioned his name when tears filled his eyes. "You're not supposed to cry yet," she joked, trying to make the atmosphere a little lighter. 

Laughing, he wiped his eyes. "Just be happy I don't wear make-up."

The crowd chuckled, and Dana felt a little more relaxed. 

She looked into Juice's eyes again, holding his right hand. 

"A little over six years ago we met. I ran away from my violent ex, seeking protecting with my brother. In the middle of the night I thought to hear a gunshot and panicked. In my fear I took you for someone who wanted to hurt me. But then you were so understanding, so patient and so incredibly sweet... I immediately felt safe around you. I tried to fight and ignore my feelings for you, afraid they would be the reason I would lose you forever. But my love for you... It was too strong to hide it. You made me feel alive again, you made me smile again; because of you I could trust a man again, and dared to surrender myself to someone else. You were my remedy, my weapon against the pain, the fear and the sadness."

Her voice was shaking. The fact that his eyes were shining with tears, wasn't exactly helping her to keep her feelings in check. 

"We've had such a hard time, we've been through things that scarred us for life. But you, Juice, you were always my tower of strength. Even in the years we were separated, my memories of you were the reason my heart kept beating. You were the reason I never stopped fighting, for you showed me a glimpse of happiness that I wanted to have, no matter what. And I got it back. After a lot of effort, a hell of a battle." She cocked her head to the side and looked at Kip and Fye, who were holding hands. "We hurt people in our search for love, peace and happiness. People who had been nothing but support to us and without them, we never would have been here. Luckily those people have found each other too now, because of our struggle." The couple smiled at her and a deep warmth washed over her. She turned her glance back to Juice. "We never battle in vein. We fight for the ones we love, for a love that is beyond understanding. I love you, Juan Carlos. Juice. I love you so much there are no words to express my feelings for you. And that's why I promise you that I will always love you, that I will be faithful to you in good and bad days, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health. I want to love you and cherish our love, all the remaining days of my life."

Juice's eyes were puffy and red, and he took a few deep breaths before he had gotten himself together to make his own vow. Taking both of her hands, he looked her in the eye. 

"My sweet Dana. My angel, my heartbeat, my everything." He swallowed. "As a child I felt unwanted. My father had no interest in me, my mother was too busy. Her boyfriends believed I was just an attention-seeking piece of shit. I never knew the meaning of love." For a moment he looked away, to his brothers. "Only when I was 19 and started to live in Charming, I understood what a family is. What love looked like. But when I met you..." He was quiet, trying to control his breathing. "You were damaged when we met. I wanted to help you so desperately, I wanted to protect you... and at the same time I was struggling with my own demons. With my own anxiety. Often I had the feeling I was failing as a boyfriend, especially when you were taken from me." Again he took a deep breath, the look in his eyes so lost it seemed to torture him. She squeezed his hands. "I lost you," he continued, his voice shaky. "I even buried you. I know what it feels like to live without you. It changed me for good, it tore me apart. Without you I'm nothing Dane." His bottom lip started to quiver again. 

Tears jumped into her eyes as well; even though she had intended to stay strong she started to sob too. 

"I have been such an asshole, I've done so many horrible things. But you Dane – you never stopped loving me, you always kept believing in me. You never gave up on me, even when everyone else did. Even when my soul was at its darkest, you were able to see a glimmer of goodness. You make me a better man, you taught me to love myself again, to never give up. Your love healed me when the whole world believed I was beyond saving. I need you baby. I know I can't live without you and your love, which I don't deserved, makes me blissfully happy. And I will do everything in my power to make you happy – to keep you happy."

He sniffled, searching for her eyes again. For a moment they were both shaken up by the emotions churning in the eyes of the other, and which were at the same time a reflection of their own feelings. 

"Dana, I love you. You're my best friend, and today I give myself to you in this marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you and to comfort you in hard times. I promise you I will always love you, when life seems simple and when things are hard. I promise to cherish you and to give you everything I can. I give my heart to you, today, and every day from now on."

Dana could only smile, her heart was flooding over with love for this man. Her husband. The civil servant gave them some time to recompose. 

"And now, it's time to seal your love and faithfulness with rings." The man beckoned Casper, who quickly jumped up and took the ring bearer pillow Kozik handed him. 

Dana's eyes started to itch again when her little boy walked towards them. His arms stretched forward, a white pillow in his hands with a red ribbon keeping the wedding rings in place. 

"Very good," she whispered as Casper came to stand in front of them, and she laid a hand on his shoulder. Taking off a ring, she shoved it around Juice's finger without taking her glance away from him. "With this ring I will vow my love. I promise to always be a faithful and loving wife."

At the direction of the officiant, Juice took the remaining ring and shoved it slowly around her finger. "With this ring I will vow my love. I promise always to protect and cherish you." His glance shot past her, to his brothers. For a moment he looked uncertain. She knew about the Sons tradition, she'd heard the words at Kozik's wedding. She looked to the side and watched Clay giving Juice a nod, permitting him to speak out the words, even though he wasn't on active duty. "And I promise you to treat you as good as my leather and," the voices of his brothers arose, laughing, "to ride you as much as my Harley."

Dana chuckled. When the laughter and applauding had died away, the official took the floor again. "By the power invested in me by the State of California, I pronounce you as husband and wife."

Dana wrapped her arms around him. Juice's clammy hands cupped her jaws as he leaned into her and kissed her. Dana closed her eyes, savoring the softness of his mouth; the silent seal of the words he had just spoken. The kiss was so pure they both blushed when they pulled back, while the hollers and cheers of the others arose behind them. 

Her hand glided into Juice's, with the other she held Casper's. The three of them walked across the path between the chairs, on their way to the party venue where they would receive the congratulations. She squeezed Juice's hand when the last song was played, a song that touched their hearts and described the essence of their love. 

'There's a voice that's crying from the wasteland
Says I don't know where to go from here
I've been gone so long here in the wasteland
My days and months turn to years

Noise inside my head
It scares me half to death

But love heals, love feels alive
Cause love's here when you're by my side
And love frees, love's real this time
And love sees the man here inside
Love heals

I have tried so hard to be a sane man
But my demons never disappear
I have hurt you, cursed you but you still stand
Helping me to see my fear

Noise inside my head
It scares me half to death

But love heals, love feels alive
Cause love's here when you're by my side
And love frees, love's real this time
And love sees the man here inside
Cause love heals
Yes love heals
It's true, love heals'

. . .

A/N: The first song is called 'Warmness on the Soul' by Avenged Sevenfold (One of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard, it's worth checking out!), the second is called 'Love Heals' by W.E.T. 

So, this was definitely the hardest chapter to write, I just wanted it to be perfect but I think it will never be. ;D  

I have one more chapter - the epilogue - to post, then this story is sadly over! :(