Ghosts ✔

113 • Dana

Dana was sitting at the bar, all alone, a cocktail in her hand. A silent toast to a life that had ended too soon. The taste of cherry filled her mouth, reminding her of the day her friend had made cocktails for them. She remembered the quarreling between Kip and Cherry, and the way Juice threatened to get him kicked out of the club if he took off her clothes during strippoker. She smiled as she remembered how she had cheated during the game so Juice would be the one unbuttoning her blouse. If she closed her eyes, she could still feel the light caresses of his fingers and see the longing in her eyes. 

The memory was like a broken dream. 

Cherry was dead. 

Kip was no longer that light-hearted, clumsy boy. 

Juice was no longer that Casanova with his dazzling smile. 

And she... she was no longer that girl who was constantly scared, who was always struggling with herself because she was endangering the lives of her friends. 

Together they had accepted the risks; they all had wanted to live, had wanted to feel free. 

And they all paid a horrible price for it. 

What would she tell her younger self? That she had to run back to Maddox? Or would she convince herself to cherish the beautiful moments and enjoy them as much as she could? 

Did the others regret meeting her? If all this happened to her now, would she go to her brother's clubhouse again? Or would she slit her wrists, knowing what fate awaited her friends? 

She took a deep breath and emptied the glass. This were enough sad thoughts for tonight. What's done is done. Cherry was dead and everybody had kept it from her. That was reality. She had no choice but to accept it and find a way to live with it. 

She felt betrayed by all the men she knew, and at the same time she understood why they'd wanted to hide it from her. It was true – she had already lost so many people. But did they really believe she would never find out? That the truth would slip nobody's lips, that she wouldn't ask them to track her down? Did they believe she wouldn't be able to get over it? She overcame Opie's death, she overcame Tabitha's death. This time, she would have moved on too.

But none of the people she loved, seemed to know the real her. 

. . .

It was late when Dana returned home. The tears were gone, just like most of her anger. 

As she entered the living room, she found Kip asleep on the couch, the tv still on. Picking up the remote control, she switched off the screen. 

The sudden silence seemed to startle him, for he sat up straight. "Hey," he said. "Where's Fye?"

"She went home." She put her bag on the ground and sat down next to him. The fact that she didn't greet him with a kiss, seemed to alarm him. 

"Why? She would stay tomorrow too, right?"

"She told me Kip. She told me what happened to Cherry."

For a few seconds he just stared at her, then he rubbed his face. "Fuck."

She huffed disdainfully. For a while she waited until he would say something, but he kept his mouth shut. 

"You ever plan to tell me at all?" she asked. 

"No. I thought the truth would only hurt you."

"She was my best friend Kip! Don't you think I had a right to know?"

Kip bent his head and stared at his hands. "I didn't know her, I didn't know you... I trusted the judgement of my brothers when they decided it was best for you if you would never find out."