Ghosts ✔

020 • Juice

Juice was holding his breath as his hand shoved upwards across her side. The fabric of her black nightdress felt smooth underneath his palm, and he wondered if her bare skin would feel even smoother. She held his glance, seemed a little breathless as well. There was a lazy smile around her lips, but she didn't make any move herself. 

He had never touched her like he was doing now. They had cuddled, she had slept in his arms, but this was the first time his fingers had taken this road to discovery. Maybe it was something innocent; for him however it was a big step and his feelings were all messed up. 

On the one hand he wanted to feel her skin right beneath his fingertips, on the other hand that longing only filled him with shame. He didn't even know what had made him do this; it was 5 A.M. and suddenly he hadn't been able to control himself anymore. Maybe there had been a dream leaving traces behind in his mind; he couldn't remember. 

Lotte had became his reality, he realized. She was here every night, he could touch her whenever he wanted, could talk to her, see her smile. And Dana... Dana felt like a chimera, a figure from his dreams, untouchable, unreal...

His hand had reached her breast. His thumb was stroking the side, through the fabric he could see her hard nipple. 

"Juice..." she said softly, but with a hoarse tone. "Are you sure you –"

"I want you."

Suddenly all his self-control was gone. He rolled on top of her, his hand gliding underneath her dress, grabbing her breast. She gasped for air, and as soon as he heard that, he pressed his lips on hers. It was such a long time ago... He had a feeling he wasn't ready mentally, but his body surely was. While he was still not sure if he should go through with this, he was already kissing her passionately, squeezing her tit and he noticed that his other hand was pulling down her panties.

His lips wandered to her neck, sucked her skin, and the next moment he thrust inside her. It didn't even cross his mind to figure out if she was ready too; his body seemed to act alone. 

"Ow," she muttered wronged. "Juice...!"

"Sorry," he whispered in her ear, but he didn't stop, he kept thrusting inside her, faster and faster. She was lying beneath him like a sack of potatoes. Memories of Dana shot through his head; her laughter, her teasing whispers, her hot touches... He growled, feeling nothing but frustrated. 

Suddenly the door of his room slammed open. In a daze he looked over his shoulder, still buried deep inside Lotte. 

"Wow... okay..." Kozik stared a little dazed at them, then he shook off his bewilderment and swayed with his phone. "Dana... Dana called, a few hours ago. I assume she called you too."

Dana...

"This uh, this isn't what it looks like," Juice muttered in confusion. 

Something which he might have been able to claim if Kozik had been a few minutes earlier, but he didn't fully realize what he had done yet. Kozik's words didn't really dawn on him either; it took a few seconds before a jolt went through his body. "She – she called?"

"Yeah, she left a message. They're trying to escape. She probably left you a message too."

Juice climbed over Lotte and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. There was no missed call. Immediately he called his voicemail, but there were no messages, new ones nor old ones. Defeated, he dropped the device. 

"She... she didn't call me." Suddenly it felt like someone was strangling him. Did she know about Lotte and him? Did she think that he had cheated on her? Was there still a croweater in the clubhouse reporting to Maddox? 

You did cheat on her, Juice. 

With a grunt he silenced the voice in his head. 

"Leave," he snarled at Lotte, who studied his face with a worried look in her eyes. 

"I'm not some kind of..."

"Get out!" he snapped, grabbing her wrist and pulling her off the bed. "Fuck off, you whore!"

For a moment there was a fierce look flaming up in her eyes, then she sighed, turned away from Kozik awkwardly and pulled up her panties again. Then she left.

Juice sat down on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands. 

She hated him. She hated him, if not she would have called him.

"What... what did she say?" he muttered. "You think – you really think there's a chance they'll escape?"

The mattress sank down as her brother sat down next to him. He put his phone on the speaker and played the message. 

"Hey Koz," a tensed voice whispered. "Kip and I are trying to escape, but if we don't succeed..." She took a deep breath. Tears were brimming in his eyes as he heard a baby cry. His baby. "We're on an island in the middle of the ocean, one square kilometer at most... with a coast nearby since they can get here with speedboats. There are five guards, uh, four now, and Maddox is on a business trip until Saturday." There was a short silence. "I gotta go now. Bye."

No word about him, nor about his kid. He didn't even know if the cries he had heard were from his son or his daughter. Even the message addressed to Kozik sounded cold. He wiped his eyes, breathing shakily. 

Kozik laid an arm around his shoulders. "Maybe she just lacked the time to call you," he said quietly. "Chin up, Juice. It's the message that counts. We finally have a lead where she might be, and maybe she'll call later with some news. It's four hours ago, maybe she's on her way right now. And hey, she might just be lacking your number."

"She would have left a message on your phone," he muttered. "She's mad at me. She... she knows." He looked down, stared at the ring that she had bought him for Christmas. His engagement ring. 

And just a minute ago he had been inside some bitch – he was disgusted with himself. 

Taking a few breaths, he tried to concentrate on the message. She was on a island not far from the coast – and maybe she would escape. Maybe she would come back to him. That was more important than anything; he would figure out later how to make things right with her now he had cheated on her. He stood up and picked up his laptop so he could start his search immediately. "Did you try to call her back?"

"As soon as I woke up, but she didn't answer."

Juice tried to ignore the nasty feeling in his stomach, without knowing what was causing it; the thought that Dana's attempt to escape had failed or the disgusting thing he had just done himself...