Ghosts ✔

064 • Cherry

It was strange to be back in the clubhouse after two years. It had never felt like a true home, not knowing if others considered her as a croweater or an old lady. Before she dated Kip, Clay had made her fuck him and ever since she felt used when he was in the same room. 

With Dana's arrival, things had changed. She finally had a female friend with whom she could laugh and talk about anything. She remembered how they had decorated the clubhouse with boob balloons when Tig turned fifty, and how they had played strippoker with Kip and Juice. They had even joked about having a threesome. 

But now Dana was dead and Juice wanted to slit her throat. 

How would Kip react on her return? Did he hate her just as much as the man who was walking next to her, a man so full of grudge that his heavy footsteps alone made her flinch? 

She looked around. Although she saw some cuts, she only recognized Bobby. Juice pushed her into the couch and turned away from her. With large steps he walked away, snapping at a random guy that he had to keep an eye on her. 

As if she had any place to go to.

She was living on the streets for two years now. It had been easy to fall back in old rhythms; selling her body had been the easiest way to make money. It however hadn't lasted very long; and in the end she'd gotten together with some guys – guys that kept her off the street. Despite their attention she still loved Kip, not an hour passed by without thinking about him. She had been convinced that he was dead, that Maddox had killed him months ago. 

But he had set him free.

And she hadn't known.

As she heard footsteps, she looked up. Leaving the workshop, a few people entered the clubhouse – Kozik, Jax, Clay... and Kip. Her heart skipped a beat. For a moment she didn't care how he felt about her; she jumped up, rushed towards him and wrapped her arms around him. 

"It's really you," she whispered. "Oh god, it's really you."

Tears itched down her cheeks when she pulled him closer. As soon as his scent surrounded her, she started to cry uncontrollably. 

"I thought you were dead," she sniffled. "I thought I would never see you again."

He said nothing. He had laid a hand on her back, but he wasn't really holding her. She looked up to him, cupping his jaws with her hands. He looked older – there were deep lines in his face and the playful look that had always been in his eyes was gone. 

"Do you hate me?" she asked quietly. Her thumbs stroked the small hairs on his cheeks. 

"Um... I don't know who you are," he muttered. "I mean um – I know that your name is Cherry and that we used to be in a relationship – they told me that – but I can't remember you. I'm sorry."

Confused, Cherry stepped back. "W-what?"

"Maddox erased my memory."

She covered her mouth with her hand. That was... horrible! How many times had she relied on her good memories? He had lost all of them...

She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked to the side. It was Kozik. Skittishly she looked at him, but his eyes weren't full of hatred. "Why don't you two go to his room and talk for a bit? Tell him things... try to call up his memories."

Cherry nodded. Her hand slipped into Kip's and she led him away from the others. She could feel their hatred, but she was glad about this opportunity. Maybe this might save her. Maybe their anger would subside a bit if she brought back his memories – then she would finally have done something good. And maybe, just maybe, they wouldn't kill her. 

. . .

Cherry shared every memory she had. 

It didn't help. 

Gently they kissed each other, hoping to call up something else than memories. Unbuttoning her blouse, she allowed him to caress her breasts while she waited, feeling tense. 

With a deep sigh he pulled back his hand. "Sorry. I don't feel or remember anything."

She bit her lip. Somehow she was glad that he neither remembered what she had done and what Maddox had done to him, but she had always believed their love could transcend everything. But no. Everything that had ever existed between them, was gone now. And as much as it frustrated her, his clenched fists told her that it frustrated him even more. As if she had been his last hope to find back himself. 

"Maybe it will come back later," she suggested, taking his hand in hers. "If we see each other more often. Maybe it just needs time."

Maybe he would fall in love with her again, so that they could start with a new leaf. Oh, how she wished for a new start with him...

He however pulled back his hand, shaking his head. "There's no point in getting to know someone who I will lose before the end of the week."

Her heart crumbled down. He agreed with her death. 

The man she loved more than anything in the world, the man for whom she had given up everything, agreed with her death. 

Bending her head, she listened how he left the room. 

Maybe it wasn't so bad to die. Now they all hated her. Now there was no forgiveness in their hearts anymore. Because this... this wasn't much of a life either.