Ghosts ✔

041 • Juice

It felt surreal to see his sister after all these years. When he left Queens, she had been around her twenties. Now she was nearing her forties. Although she had always stayed young in his imagination, it now seemed like time had caught her. Her cheeks were hollow, her glance exhausted – although her eyes lit up when Mikey and he entered the visitor hall. Briefly they hugged each other; she took a little more time to pull Mikey close. The boy didn't understand the situation all too well and more than once Juice had tried to explain to him why he could no longer live with his mom. Right now he didn't seem to care too much; patiently he answered all Suzie's questions about his new home and his new friends. After ten minutes he got bored, and Juice handed him two toy cars to play with. 

Juice didn't know what to say. He himself had been in jail two times so he knew how things were, but he had always been in the company of some of his brothers. Suzie however was all alone,  and even though she had no enemies since she wasn't tied to the Sons, he doubted this was paradise for her. 

"How you're holdin' up?" he eventually asked in a soft voice. From the corner of his eye he looked to the side, but Mikey was in his own little world.

"I manage." She sighed, with watery eyes looking at her son. "I just miss him so much. Are you really okay with looking after him?"

"I'm fine, don't worry. He's a good kid." He dropped his eyes for a moment, thinking about his own daughter who would have been almost six months by now. 

"How are you?"

The past months they had been writing each other a lot. After some hesitation, he had told her about Dana and that she was abducted – and in the letters that followed, everything had just came out. It never had been his intention to put her up with his shit, but it had given him so much peace to write it all down and let it read by a person who wasn't club related.

"I'm okay," he answered. He really was. He couldn't call himself happy – how could he, as long as Dana was held captive? – but he had gotten his life together. He had found his place in the club again, the work at the garage kept him busy and things went well between Lotte and him. "I'm glad that he's around," he said softly, looking to the side again. "Sometimes it is hard because of Tabitha... but I believe that my responsibility regards him keeps me sane, it keeps me from grabbing the bottle. I think I need that," he muttered.

Suzie showed him an understanding smile. 

For some time they kept chatting – about serious and less serious matters – until visiting hour was over. 

"We gotta go kid. Give mommy a big hug," he said to Mikey, squeezing his shoulder. 

With wide, confused eyes the boy looked at him. "Is mommy not coming with us?"

There was a dull pain in his stomach as he shook his head. "No kid. She gotta stay here a little longer."

"Why can't we stay too? I want to stay with mommy." He started to rub his eyes, tears trickled down his cheeks. 

With an uneasy feeling Juice watched the kid, not knowing what to say or do. He hadn't been sure that it was smart to take Mikey with him, but he neither wanted to keep him away from his mother for five years. 

Suzie knelt in front of her son so she could look him in the eye. "Mommy did something wrong. She did it to protect you, but it was still wrong. That's why she needs to stay here, to make things right. But as soon as she can go home, she'll pick you up Mikey. Until then, you can stay with uncle Juan a little longer."

Sniffling he breathed in, then he nodded and reached for Juice's hand.

"I'm proud of ya, little man," Juice smiled as the boy wiped the tears off his cheeks and squared his shoulders, something he tend to do more often those days – making him wonder if he was copying that behavior from him. 

He kissed his sister's cheek, then they left the hall. 

It was a long way back to Charming, and halfway they spent the night in a hotel. Mikey was quiet, but Juice had the feeling it was because he felt tired and not so much because he was feeling sad – although the situation definitely sucked.

. . .

When he came home, they had dinner with Lotte, where after she put Mikey in bed. Juice went to the clubhouse, he was in the mood to spend some time with the others, hopefully the tight feeling in his chest would go away. 

Together with Bobby and two guys who were just done prospecting he enjoyed a game of pool, and for a brief moment everything seemed to be like in the old days. That illusion was not even broken by Unser when he entered the clubhouse – he used to stop by to tip them off all the time. 

However, the moment Juice saw the person who was standing next to him, looking around with wide confused eyes, the cue dropped out of his hand and clattered on the ground. 

"Sack?" he whispered, completely bewildered. Immediately he ran towards the door and looked around the lot. His heart was racing in his chest. Dana – was Dana there too??

In the middle of the parking lot he stood still. There was nobody there – she hadn't come back. Breathing heavily he turned back to Sack, who stared past him with an empty look in his eyes. Juice grabbed his arm. 

"Where is she?" he snapped. 

The man stared him in the eye, confusion radiating from his face. Then he pulled back his arm, looking irritated. 

"He doesn't know, Juice," Unser sighed. "One hour ago someone dropped him off at the office. He doesn't know where he has been the past months. He doesn't remember anything at all. Not even his own name."