Ghosts ✔

045 • Dana

Two months later

Dana had never heard him sing – and she had never expected to hear him sing. 

Still, he was really sitting next to her on the couch, a microphone of the WII in his hand while he tried to sing along with Smells Like Teen Spirit. 

Doing karaoke with your kidnapper.

It was fucking ridiculous. Nevertheless, Dana had seen another side of Maddox the past months; one she doubted anyone else had ever seen – himself included. She felt how it was confusing him – having fun just was something he was unfamiliar with. Especially in such an informal way. By now he had freed himself of his inhibitions a few times, letting go of the image he was always clinging to. At those moments, he seemed to be a completely different person. 

"It's your turn to choose a song."

"You surprise me," she said, shaking her head. "I'd never expected to hear a single note from you, let alone wanting to sing more than one song."

He shrugged his shoulders, a little embarrassed and Dana regretted her words. She didn't want him to go back to his shell. 

She flipped through the rock songs and smirked as she saw Paradise City. "We can do this one together," she grinned. "We've listened to that song so many times it's crazy." She configured both of the microphones, stood up and pulled him on his feet as soon as the music started to play.

It didn't take long before they were both headbanging. Dana tried some impossible high voices while she looked at him from the side, making funny faces. 

It made him laugh – and for a few moments she stared baffled at him. 

Had she ever heard him laugh? Sure, she had seen his smiles; both dark and friendly ones, but hearing his laughter? She couldn't remember. The corners of her mouth curled up as he stretched his own vocal cords hitting the next notes. It sounded out of tune, but he didn't seem to care and neither did she. 

His smiling eyes made her hold her breath for a while, and she caught herself wishing the song took longer to end. The next one was Paradise by the Dashboard Lights, and to her surprise Maddox still made no attempt to stop. 

Dana didn't know what exactly happened. When they were both joking around during the chorus she wrapped an arm around his waist and once he looked down, she kissed him. This time she wasn't disgusted, and when his hands glided up her neck she didn't feel the urge to turn her head away. 

It just felt like this man was someone else than the one who had caused her so much pain. As his hands glided underneath her shirt she held her breath, and he took a little distance to look her in the eye. He had never cared about her reaction to his touches, but this time he did. She nodded eagerly, pulling his shirt over his head. A soft sigh escaped her lips as they sat down on the couch, Dana straddled on his lap. As his lips explored her neck, she bent back her head. His hands glided across her baby bump while her fingers stroked his inked skin, and his hands climbed higher until he unhooked her bra. 

Another sigh escaped her lips as he took her breasts in his hands and started to knead them. As his lips closed around her nipple and started to suck, she buried her nails in his shoulders. Pushing him on his back on the couch she started to unbuckle his pants, kissing her way down. 

A little later she lowered herself on top of him. For the first time she was excited enough to feel no pain when he entered her, and he clung to her as she moved her hips. 

"Oh baby," he moaned. "This feels so... good. You're so hot."

Her breathing faltered. There were other images trying to break through the wall she had built around her memories, but she ignored them. She didn't want to think about Juice. Nor about Kip. Nor about all the times Maddox had forced her to have sex. 

This was someone else, she told herself. This wasn't the person who had murdered her child, who had raped her, who had forced her to kill her friend. He was mentally ill – there were two persons inside one body and this one... this one she liked. This one she could love. This one she had to learn to love. 

The thoughts faded as he started to massage her breasts again, not as roughly as he had done in the past, but in a tender way. She sped up her pace until he lifted her up. His legs were shaking as he stepped away from the couch and backed her up against the wall. 

"I want you to cum first," he panted. With one hand he lifted her leg a little higher while thrusting deep inside her. She had wrapped her arms around his neck, her lips pressed against his hair. Softly moaning she closed her eyes, surrendering herself – and for the first time she didn't fake an orgasm.

He came right after her. Both feeling a little weak because of the heavy release, they laid down on the couch a little later, their bare bodies sticking together. 

"I love you," he muttered against her sweaty skin. 

Dana didn't want to lie to him at this moment, so she didn't return the words. To be honest, she had no idea what she felt. She still hated him – she would always hate him. This was just an attempt to gain his trust, to make things as comfortable for herself as she could. 

And still that wasn't the full truth. This version of him – it did something to her. It called up more feelings than just the urge to strangle him.