Ghosts ✔

103 • Dana

Dana was having her coffee break. Despite the years of captivity she didn't find it hard to chat with her colleagues. On the contrary: knowing that none of them knew what she'd gone through, made things easier; they all considered her as a normal 29 year old. The conversations were casual, which she liked. All her other conversations were always so serious...

She just wanted to return to the foyer to take the next group of visitors under her wing when Marly entered the coffee room. "There's someone at the counter asking for you, Dana."

"Oh..." Dana answered a little overwhelmed. 

It was a half hour drive from Charming, someone wouldn't stop by without a good reason. She followed her colleague to the front of the building and sighed softly as she saw Kozik, who was pacing in front of the entrance, raking a hand through his blond hair every few steps. 

He was obviously nervous. 

"Hey." She walked over to him. 

He froze immediately. "Hey."

Dana bit the inside of her cheek as she took him in. He looked pale, there were bags under his eyes and the look in his eyes broke her heart. Whatever he had done yesterday – right now she only felt pity because her dear friend was so broken. She wrapped her arms around him; he hugged her back almost desperately. 

"I can't remember much of yesterday," he muttered. "Except for Amy breaking up with me and me getting hammered. I – I have the feeling I've done something terrible. But I – I can't remember much. Only your panicking face." He pulled back a little, rubbing the side of his head. "And I remember you hitting me. With something."

Dana laid her hand on his upper arm because they were blocking the entrance and led him outside. The sun was shining and she took him to a bench close to the door. 

"What did I do?" he asked quietly. "Did I..." He wasn't able to say the words. Instead, he stared at the ground. 

"It doesn't matter what you did," she said. "You didn't know what you were doing."

"It does matter. Did I hurt you? You weren't home this morning, I must have frightened you."

"You tried to kiss me. To give Amy a reason to be mad at you. I went to Kip." She laid her hand on Kozik's leg. "Nothing happened baby. I'm not mad."

She wasn't sure he believed her, he still couldn't work up the nerve to look her in the eye. 

"I feel like a hypocrite. I've berated Juice so many times when he was drunk, and now I lost control myself."

"It can happen to the best, Koz. You're not a saint, you make mistakes like every other human being."

For a while Kozik kept staring at the floor. His shoulders tense, his breathing heavy. "You know... He treated me like shit so many times. I always swallowed it because he was such a mess. I understood him, to some degree. But now..." His voice sounded cold. "Now I can't stand him anymore. Maybe I even hate him. The things he said, just to scare Amy... None of this would have happened if it wasn't for him. He ruined my relationship, only because I hadn't told him that you were alive. But that knowledge... it would have destroyed him, Dane. I've seen him wither away so many times. It exhausted me... I'm not even sure I could have dealt with it again." He stared at his hands. "But he never saw it. He still can't see it. That I was having a hard time too, that I didn't have all the answers either. He was so... obsessed with his own pain."

"He still is," she answered softly. "Every time we have a deep conversation, he ends up crying." She tried to swallow, her throat feeling tight. Then she took a deep breath. She shouldn't be the one telling him, but she just needed to get it off her chest. "Fye's pregnant."