Ghosts ✔

051 • Kozik

Kozik tried not to assume the worst. Juice was doing well those days, Kozik had believed he had his life back on track. But maybe the hope to find Dana back had flared up now they were on something, causing conflicting feelings. Especially because Juice had felt okay the past months, Kozik was worried now. A gnawing sensation followed him as he went on his bike and rode to the man's house, and the feeling worsened as he neared the front door.

"Fuck," he grunted as no one answered the door bell. He thought back to all the times he had found Juice on the floor, blind drunk and stoned. His indifference, his anxiety, his anger; his emotions always seemed to peak. What would he see this time? Had he taken another overdosis, or had he cut his wrists this time? Kozik cursed himself for asking him no further questions. He should have figured out if an ambulance was needed.

He walked around the house, climbed over a small fence and tried the back door. This one was open. He entered the house, the silence that greeted him causing a pit in his stomach.

"Juice?" His eyes shot through the room. There was no one around. The dinner table however was turned over, the laptop upside down on the ground.

Cursing, he continued his search. He had only been a few times in Lotte's house and he had never been further than the living room. It however wasn't a villa, so it couldn't be that hard to find Juice.

As soon as he rounded a corner and entered a hallway, he froze. A torrent of curses left his lips as he saw the two lying on the ground. Nausea battled a way to his gullet as he smelled puke, and the moment he saw Lotte's face, there was pang in his chest.

"Fuck." He fell on his knees next to the girl, pressing his fingers against her neck to find a pulse, although he was pretty sure that she was dead. His fingertips stroked the welts in her neck.

He had strangled her. 

His glance wandered to the side. Juice had curled up like a little child. For a moment Kozik feared he was dead too; the look in his eyes was emptier than ever. Then the man however sat up straight, his whole body shaking as he rubbed his eyes. 

"What have you done?!" His emotions were distorting his voice. Lotte had been such a sweet girl, he couldn't understand how Juice could have done this to her.

Sobbing, the boy rubbed his eyes. Kozik however had grown tired of his tears; he had seen too many of them. He had seen too many regrets while the kid never changed his behavior. 

"I don't know what to do with you anymore Juice. I really don't."

Juice stared at his feet. "She was working for Maddox. When I made an overview of the missing girls last night, I saw that her sister was one of them." Juice looked up, his eyes were gleaming sadly. "I loved her. But she played me. She spied for Maddox. She – she called him when Dana tried to escape. It's – it's her fault that my little girl is dead."

Kozik felt his whole body tense as he took a deep breathe. God, when had that guy suffered enough? He sat down next to Juice and pulled him into a hug. A lump appeared in his throat as Juice started to cry again. 

Now he had lost two women he loved. And again, Maddox was the one to blame. 

"It's okay," Kozik answered softly when Juice started to ramble about how everyone would hate him for this. 

It wasn't okay, of course it wasn't okay. But what else could he say? He had no idea what he would have done himself if it had happened to him. It wasn't only Juice she had played; nobody had found it suspicious that she had been so concerned about Juice. She had seemed to be a sweet girl – and Kozik blamed himself for not having had any suspicions. The fact that Lotte had stayed with him despite all the beat-ups should have alarmed him. 

"It's okay?" Juice repeated, looking up. "I murdered a woman. I murdered my girlfriend!" Again, the pain flashed across his face. 

Kozik knew he had to temper his guilt, whether it was justified or not. This time Lotte wouldn't be around to pull him through and he doubted anyone could take her place. He didn't want to see Juice turn to the alcohol again, but he also knew that Juice wouldn't open up to another girl anytime soon. 

Everything Lotte had healed inside Juice, she had destroyed now. 

"I'll be honest with you, Juice – I don't know if I had done things differently. I think we all would have reacted this way. She betrayed you. Whatever was going on; she betrayed you. So don't feel ashamed of your anger. Although we could have used her connection to Maddox, maybe giving him false information or something, set a trap..." He sighed.

"I know," Juice muttered, his hand running across his mohawk. "I never wanted to kill her Koz. Not really. I was... it was just..." Sobbing, he breathed in. 

"There's nothing you can do about it kid," Kozik stated simply. He knew that Juice needed space to deal with his loss, but right now he rather looked at the situation from a more practical perspective. There was a dead woman in the hallway and somewhere in this house was also a little boy. 

"Where's Mikey?"

"I sent him to his room."

"Did he see it happen?"

Juice shook his head. "He found us here, this morning. I was broken, I held her throughout the night."

Again, tears were glistening in his eyes. Kozik laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "We gotta bury her somewhere. Give her a little funeral." They couldn't take her to a regular graveyard; the autopsy report would turn Juice into a suspect. He doubted anyone but Maddox knew that she was here, so nobody would miss her. 

"We're gonna find her a good spot tonight, okay?" He looked around. "But we have to hide the body until tonight. I'll ask Amy if she can look after Mikey today, okay?"

Juice nodded blankly. 

Kozik lifted the dead girl, went through the open bedroom door and laid her down on the bed. With a sigh he looked at her sweet face. How must she truly have felt, the past months? Living together with a drunk, someone who loved another woman while her little sister was held captive? She had seen Tabitha's body. She knew what would happen to her sister if she disobeyed Maddox. 

He understood the girl – but he understood Juice as well. Especially if she had been the cause of his daughter's death. Who knows what they could have achieved if Lotte had came clean from the beginning...

There was actually just one person he blamed for this drama, and he was far away from here, still out of their reach, happy in his twisted little fantasy with the woman he desired so much he was oblivious to her hatred. Feeling powerless, Kozik clenched his fists. It was unbelievable how many lives one man could destroy. 

Trying to calm himself down again, he took a deep breath and left the bedroom. He heard soft voices coming from the next room and walked towards the door. Mikey was sitting on the edge of the bed. Juice had squatted in front of him, his hands holding those of the little boy. Kozik listened to Juice's shaking voice as he told his nephew that Lotte had become very sick all of a sudden and that she needed to go to a special hospital far away from Charming. 

Kozik had to admit that he was impressed by the way Juice dealt with the boy; as it seemed the kid calmed him down a little. 

Still he was afraid that his love for the kid wouldn't be enough to heal the wound Lotte had left behind.