Ghosts ✔

076 • Dana

The moment Dana was standing in the hallway, she leaned against the wall, feeling defeated. She could hear his rage; he screamed while throwing things against the wall. Oh, she felt so sorry for him. 

Of course she understood him. 

She might have been furious too, if she had been in his shoes. He needed time to deal with all of this and she would give him that time. She was also taking into account the possibility that they would never get back together at all. Too much might have happened. She thought she could make peace with that, but hearing him rant right now... He was still so damaged, which was the reason that the tears were piling up in her eyes. 

Knowing that things would only get worse if he stormed out of his room and saw her behind his door, she walked further down the hallway. Opening the door of Kozik's room, she peeked inside. Casper and Charley both seemed to be asleep. Although there was some space on the bed, she decided not to take the risk of waking them up. They both needed their sleep. 

Instead, she walked to the kitchen and got herself breakfast. A pot of coffee was ready, telling her someone else was around. With a bowl with cereals and yogurt in her one hand and coffee in the other, she walked to the sitting area. The gloominess she had felt, disappeared when she noticed that Kozik was sitting on the couch. 

"Hey. You're up early." She sat down next to him. 

He looked briefly at her. "You too."

"But that doesn't surprise you, right?" she asked. Something told her that she was the reason that he had showed up so early. 

"No, it doesn't," he admitted. "But well – I had my hopes high that it would take a little longer before you two would start to fight. I guess it was inevitable, huh?"

"I guess." She shrugged her shoulders. "He'll come around. His brain is just shutting down."

"He didn't... hurt you, right?"

She shook her head. "No. When I explained to him why I'd chosen to fake my death, he started to yell, but he didn't start to throw things around until I had left the room."

From the corner of her eyes she saw that Kozik was pensively staring forward. "Clay promoted him to SAA just after your death," he told her. "Since that day, not much is left of the old Juice, Dane. You can't imagine the things he has done."

"I know more than you think," she answered. "Maddox showed me a lot of shit. I know what happened to Lotte. Trust me, I've gained some experience with complicated men the past years. If I can deal with Maddox, I'll survive Juice's mood swings as well. He just needs time to deal with stuff."

"I think that's exactly his problem," Kozik sighed. "He ain't dealing with anything. All his pain, his grief, his hatred... it remains raw. It doesn't fade."

"And his girlfriend? Lotte helped him a lot when they were together... Does she have a good influence on him?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno. I don't know her that well. I often get the feeling that he just doesn't want to be alone. He never looks at her like he used to look at you. To be honest, he's neglecting all his relationships. With Fye, with us... with his nephew."

"His nephew?"

Kozik nodded slowly. "He showed up at the clubhouse when Juice was in rehab. The kid's seven now. Juice's sister is in jail and the kid had no other place to go. My Old Lady has a kid of the same age, so Juice is leaving the raising to her."

"Well well? You got an Old Lady?" Teasingly, she bumped her shoulder against his. "Tell me about her!"

A smile crossed his lips. "Her name is Amy. It's pretty recent, she gone through a really painful break-up so she wants to take little steps now. I wouldn't mind to go a bit faster, but..." He shrugged his shoulders. "I just want her to feel comfortable."