Ghosts ✔

015 • Dana

Tears filled her eyes as the same thing happened to him. His thumb was shaking as he caressed the little cheek. A trail of moisture reached from the corner of his eye to his jaw. 

"What's his name? Or her name?" His voice sounded unsteady, awkwardly. It weren't his emotions alone that were coloring his tone; it had been weeks since Maddox had allowed her to visit him and he hadn't spoken since. 

"I called her after my mom. Tabitha."

"She's so beautiful."

With a touched smile Dana looked at the broken man who was now holding her daughter in his arms. It meant so much to him – and also to her. Nobody else had held her baby and she neither wanted someone else to touch her. 

"She's six days now," she told Kip. Her hand was on his knee. His eyes were focused on the baby, whose little hand he carefully stroked.

"Did everything go well?"

Dana nodded. "Yeah." It had been heavy – really heavy. Giving birth to a child could already be traumatizing in normal circumstances, but she had been all alone. The nurse Maddox had brought here, hadn't been comforting at all. There hadn't been a mother giving her advice, no brother helping her get through it with harsh words. No Juice who was almost crushing her hand, being even more stressed than she was. Never before she had felt so lonely – until the child was born. Until she had held her in her arms. A little piece of her. A piece of Juice. The seal of their love. 

She looked at Kip again, to her little girl that was lying in his muscular arms. She imagined a tan skin and more tattoos. She could easily picture his wide, brown eyes, in love with this little miracle, but at the same time so afraid to do something wrong, to drop it. 

Quietly sobbing, she wiped her cheeks. Kip's hand moved to hers and squeezed. They both knew Juice should have been the one holding the baby now. 

"Did he make you call again?" Kip asked quietly. 

Sniveling, Dana breathed in, shaking her head. "No."

"Would you want it?"

Dana bit her lip. She had asked herself the same question many times. Would it do him any good, knowing that his daughter was healthy? Sure – for a while. Until he realized again that they were beyond his reach. He had to let her go, had to forget about her.

"I think it's better if I don't," she sighed. "Not only for him. I haven't forgotten how Maddox abused and raped me after the last time I spoke to him. I can't take the risk. Not with her." Her fingers stroked the small foot of the child. 

Kip caught her glance. "How did he respond? On her?"

Dana swallowed. "He doesn't want to hold her. On the one hand I'm happy about it – but it scares me. The way he sometimes looks at her..." A pang went through her chest. Her face had to tense, for he carefully handed back the baby. 

She placed her daughter in her arms and pressed a shaky kiss to her soft forehead. A tear slipped down her cheek. "I'm so afraid, Kip," she whispered. "I"m so afraid that he will hurt her. She's so fragile, so powerless." She held Tabitha a little tighter. "Every time I can't get her quiet, his face becomes dark and it frightens me so much..."

The little girl felt her fear, her grief and she started to sob. Quickly Dana stood up and cradled her in her arms, walking small circles through the room.  

"Ssh," she whispered. "Ssh sweetheart. Everything's fine." Her own heavy breathing contradicted her words. She tried to fight off the panic, but her fear went so deep and was so real that she couldn't find any calmness. 

Kip stood up and wrapped an arm around her, kissing her cheek. "I'm going to get you out of here, Dane. The both of you. I've been long enough in this room the come up with a plan."

Skittishly she looked at him. They were stuck on this island for almost nine months now – and his last attempt to overpower Maddox had been so reckless that he had almost died because of it. "If you fail..."

He took a deep breath. "We'll do it when there's no other choice anymore. If you are sure that he will harm your child."

Dana looked at her daughter again. She restlessly moved her head from left to right, making soft sounds, but she wasn't crying anymore. She was strong, just like her parents. Taking a deep breath, she looked at Kip again. "What's your plan?"

"I need a knife, or even a fork. Can you get me one? And something like a safety pin."

Shaky, she nodded, wiping her eyes. "You know – you know what will happen to you if things go wrong, right?"

"Things won't go wrong. It won't be an impulse move this time." He laid a hand against her cheek and gave her an intense look. "I'm going to get you and the little on out of here, okay?" His beard pricked her skin as he gave her another kiss – this time on the corner of her mouth. 

Dana breathed in sharply as they looked at each other. She had almost forgotten how it felt to be kissed by someone who she didn't hate. She saw the hesitation in his eyes – and she knew he could read it in her eyes too. 

He loved someone else – just like her. 

But all of a sudden, she craved for his lips, for a little bit of love, for something else than Maddox's cold touches. A little fist pressed against her breast, distracting her. A blush spread across her cheeks and she quickly turned around, blinking away new tears as she left the room. 

Shivering, she pressed a kiss on Tabitha's forehead. "Mommy will never love someone like she loves your daddy," she whispered. "Never forget that."

She squeezed her eyes. Indeed, Dana. Never forget that. Kip can never give you what you miss so terribly. 

She knew it was true. But maybe he could fill the gaping hole in her chest a little bit. Just a little bit.