Ghosts ✔

055 • Dana

Dana's fingertips stroked across the ink. The points of the wings started close to her armpits, the tail disappeared between her breasts. The crow covered the whole area between her neck and her breasts – and even though she had chosen this design for its meaning, she had to admit that it looked good on her. She had always wanted tattoos; she just never knew what kind.

This one wasn't for Juice alone; it was also for Koz, for Kip and for her brother – even though the latter would never see it. It showed her gratitude for everything the club had done for her and it was a sign of the love she felt for those four men. It was her way to say farewell to them, when they would be looking at her coffin. 

It hadn't been very difficult to persuade Ruben to get the tattoo – after all, he loved ink. That the design symbolized the club didn't seem to bother him; that it was a way for a woman to bind herself to a Son, was something he didn't know. She knew that Juice had wanted her to wear his Crow, and she hoped that he would realize once more how much she loved him and how badly she had wanted his tattoo on her skin. 

Her decision to fake her death had placated Ruben – and also Maddox. Two days ago he had taken her to the mainland to visit a tattoo artist. She hadn't managed to discover where they were, but she had noticed that it was in a town where they spoke Spanish. The idea to flee however hadn't crossed her mind – her little boy had stayed behind at the island, and when she would try to escape again she was afraid that Maddox' love for his son would die very quickly. 

Turning away from the mirror, she put on the black dress she had chosen. The neck was low-cut, but not that much that she would look like a whore. It however gave a perfect sight on her tattoo; her farewell to the Sons. 

The door of the bedroom opened and Ruben stepped inside. Approvingly, he looked at her, with the back of his fingers stroking her cheek. 

"You look beautiful." His lips found hers and while he kissed her, he pushed her on the bed. As soon as her back touched the mattress, his mouth glided along her neck, further down to kiss the new ink. His fingers curled around the neck of her dress, pulling it down together with the cups of her bra so that his lips could follow the tail disappearing between her breasts. 

"I'm wearing the dress for my funeral, Ruben," she objected, trying to push him away. "You're ruining it."

"I'll buy you something new." 

His hungry voice made her stomach cramp – she suspected that it wasn't Ruben who was lying on top of her now. The compelling way his hand moved underneath her dress and pulled her thong to the side, called up bad memories. 

"Maddox stop. You know I don't want to sleep with you when you're like this."

He looked up, his eyes dark. "I want you. Now. Ruben is always getting all the fun."

With a tearing sound, he ripped open the dress and tore away her thong. His left hand buried in her hair, the other fidgeting with his pants until he had freed himself. Roughly he pushed her legs apart and crawled on top of her. 

Dana closed her eyes. 

It will be over soon. Just stay strong for a couple more minutes.

It however was such a long time since he had forced himself upon her that fleeing to a far corner of her mind wasn't that natural anymore. 

. . .

"Sorry." 

His fingers stroked her hair. 

Dana kept lying with her back towards him, staring at the wall. Her wrists felt bruised, down under everything hurt. Tears stung her eyes. 

She would never get used to this. 

And now she was about to ruin her chance to be found by the others. 

"You hear me Dana? I'm sorry, I really am."

"That doesn't make the pain go away," she grunted. 

She felt how he rested his head on her shoulder. His arm glided around her and he held her close. 

"I don't know what happened. I thought that I controlled him."

Dana said nothing. She was sick of this game – she no longer knew what he was really thinking, what he was really feeling and what was just an act. He had always been insane, but this... this just made her feel sick. 

"Can I make it up to you? Please..." His hand stroked her side. 

She squeezed her eyes. Tears were almost suffocating her, but she didn't want to cry. 

"Why are you asking that over and over again if you refuse to grant my wishes anyway? You know what I want you to do."

"I can't release your brother. I'm already letting go of Juice, I need collateral."

"Why?" she huffed. "They will think that I'm dead anyway. I'm going nowhere."

He sighed. "I can't take the rist. As long as Maddox is controlling my thoughts, I'm afraid that you will try to leave me again. Next week. Next month. Next year. Knowing your brother will suffer if you leave me, will keep you close."

"You're a sick motherfucker, you know that? You both are."

He rolled away from her. "I'm trying to be a better person Dana. I really am."

"Maybe we should kidnap a family member of yours and let it get raped or murdered when you misbehave."

"My family is already dead. You killed the last one."

Dana shrugged her shoulders. Her sympathy for him was long gone. 

"Just arrange that funeral and buy me a new dress." She turned on her side. "And allow me at least to call my brother. I want to say goodbye. I have – we have to work things out before I'm gone." She held his glance. "And maybe... I'll forgive you for what you did today."

"Okay fine, I'll set up a call with your brother." He leaned into her to kiss her, and reluctantly she allowed his lips on hers, although she didn't kiss him back. 

Displeasing him would lead her nowhere and it wasn't worth the risk – not now he had promised her a call with Happy.