Ghosts ✔

119 • Dana

Dana slipped off Juice's bike, her feet touching the soft grass. They stood at the exact same tree as back then. She looked around. Nothing had changed, even the pizza stand was still there. 

"So weird to be here again," Juice muttered. 

"You never came back here?"

He shook his head. "I considered it many times, but I just couldn't. I was too afraid of the memories it would trigger."

Dana nodded in understanding. "You wanna get pizza first?"

"Will I have to wait with kissing you until you finished all of it, just like last time?"

Chuckling, Dana wrapped her arms around his neck. Teasingly, she pressed kisses to the smirk that awakened all ancient butterflies. "Uh-huh."

His tongue tapped against her lip, but she pulled back her face, determined. "First pizza."

Juice pouted, although his eyes were sparkling. Then he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the pizza stand. Just like during their first date, she peeked at his face. He looked relaxed, even cheerful. He had handed in his kutte this morning. It felt like he was freed from all the responsibilities that had been weighing on his shoulders for years, while there had been no room for them inside his head. 

She supported him fully in his decision to step away from the club to get his life together again, so he could start over afterwards. His brothers supported him too, knowing they could rely on him like before once he was healed. She was proud of him; he had taken some enormous steps the past days. 

"You want a pizza hawaii, just like last time?" he asked as they lined up. 

"I can't believe you remembered," she chuckled. 

He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close. "I remember every detail about that day. About every moment I spent with you." He kissed her temple and leaned his head against hers. 

Dana's hand moved to the hand on her hip, stroking the back of it; then she realized it was their turn to order. She took a step forward, ordered her own pizza and looked over her shoulder to Juice. 

"For me also a pizza hawaii," he said, standing behind her and wrapping his arms around her. 

Dana leaned into him as they waited until their pizza was ready. A pleasant shiver ran down her spine when his lips slightly touched her auricle. It was so nice to be hold by him again, to turn it into a habit again. She had longed so desperately for this normalcy that a lump formed in her throat.

Quickly she took the pizzas from the seller, then they returned to Juice's Harley where they sat down in the grass. She could remember the last time they'd laid in the grass here, kissing each other before he whispered his real name in her ear. 

Despite the good memories, there were also less beautiful thoughts. She had been right here when Happy called her, telling her to come back to the clubhouse where she found out her mom had died. 

Juice laid a hand on her thigh as if he felt her mood change. "You scared about tomorrow?"

She shook off the thoughts about her mother's death and looked aside. Softly, she sighed. "I miss Casper. I will feel so relieved when I can hold him in my arms again. But Kip... Well, it's never easy to talk things out with someone you hurt. I just hope he senses what I'm going to tell him and that he has given his future a thought. Maybe he'd like to come back now they put you on non-active."

"But I do intend to wear a kutte again," he muttered. 

"I know." She heaved a deep sigh. "I don't want to be in a car all day to pick up my kid. And I assume it's neither something Kip wants; he wants to be close to his son and somehow he'll find a way to deal with you." Raising her hand, she caressed his face. "Things are different now we're together, especially when we've finished our therapy. You have no reason to attack Kip anymore, and I don't think he'll do something to you. Not if we give his broken heart enough time to heal."

"And Casper?" Juice asked quietly. He stared at the ground. "How do you think he will respond? I hit his father. He will be scared of me."

Dana took a bite of her pizza so she could think about her answer. She didn't want Juice to worry about it, but it was a problem indeed. 

"I don't know," she said honestly. "I will have to talk to him – and we both have to talk to him. We'll see how it goes."

She neither knew how to picture her own near future. Should she rent an apartment? Move in with Juice? The latter was only an option when Casper felt comfortable around Juice. Although they had taken some huge steps forward, a normal life wasn't within range yet. 

"You wanna talk to Fye?" she asked, hesitantly. "About the baby?"

Juice shrugged his shoulders. "Depends on her. If she doesn't want me around the kid, I will accept her decision. I fucked it up."

The fact that he was staring forward, told her he only said those words because he felt like he was supposed to say them; they weren't coming from his heart. But even without his body language, she would have known he was lying. 

"You grew up without a father, Juice. Does she know how much you struggled with it?"

Quietly, he shook his head.

"Tell her that. What impact it had on you. You can leave the decision to her, but the thought that a child is unwanted is destroying, and I can't imagine a mother really wants to deny her child a father if he's not a threat. And I know you will never hurt a child."

"Yeah, you know," he said softly. "But she has no reason to believe that too."

"Then give her a reason. It takes around five months before the baby is born. You got plenty of time to show her you can be a good dad. You've already changed so much, can you imagine how much of a better person you will be after six months? We're talking about your child, Juice. Fight for it. Don't give it up, for I know you will be an amazing father. I know how much you love Tabitha, even when you never met her."

She wiped her hands at a napkin and put it next to her, then she looked up to him. He was deep in thoughts. She laid her hands on his shoulders and pushed him on his back in the grass before leaning over him. 

"Enough frettin' for today. That's not why we're here."

His fingers slipped through her hair and he kissed her. "No, we're here to start over."

"Exactly. And we will do everything better than last time."

"Everything already was perfect," he whispered against her lips. 

"It wasn't," she answered. "Last time I was terrified to lose you. Now I know I will stay with you until we're old and wrinkled."

He caressed her cheek, the look in his eyes warming her heart. "I love you Dana. I love you so damn much."

"Yeah?" Her lips floated above his mouth. "Show me baby."

And so he did; his kisses were tender, his whispers sincere, his touches exciting; causing a heat fizzing through her veins that felt like liquid happiness.