flower girl {s.m}

chapter 30: the safe place

into you - julia micheals

every time that a friend gets a text
Sayin' you're gonna be there, I just don't go, oh
So I don't run right into you
Even though that's what I wanna do
~

For a few days, Crystal locked herself in her apartment. She had the same routine everyday for almost a week: eat, watch TV, cry, sleep, and repeat.

She even distanced herself from her phone to avoid her friends telling her to get out of the house. But, it was also to not be tempted to call him.

"Why am I even crying?" She told herself one day. "It's my fault. Everything's my fault."

For the second time that day, she broke down in tears as she lay on the bathroom floor.

It was not long until she wiped her tears and got up from the bathroom floor because it only reminded her of a particular song.

She huffed and jumped into the shower. She finally had the thought and energy to go out of the house.

*

Crystal drove for almost an hour to where she was heading. She enjoyed listening to the pop radio. Since getting to know a musician like Shawn, she developed a love for music. And, not just liking the beat of it she found herself listening to the lyrics and the hidden instruments, wondering what the writer went through as they wrote the song. She actually smiled when she thought of a scenario in her head that the artist could've went through. That only lasted until she heard DJ speak.

"It's a beautiful day today in New York! Time check: it's currently 9:16 in the morning and you're listening to KIIS FM. Now, this next song has been highly requested since it came out recently. This is Shawn Mendes' newest single If I Can't—"

And for the rest of the ride she was forced to listen to instrumental Jazz which slightly drove her crazy because she was really enjoying listening to the pop radio.

Though, it was not long until she finally reached her destination. Crystal parked at the side of the road and pulled out the flowers she brought with her.

Her feet took her to a spot all too familiar.

"Hey, Charlie. I brought you some flowers." She set the flowers down and sat in front of the stone.

Charleston Nicholas Paige
August 28, 1995 - February 20, 2009

Beloved son and brother

The tombstone looked dirty and the flowers have long wilted, letting her know that he hadn't had visitors for a while.

As she dusted off fallen leaves and dirt from his name, she couldn't help but let a few tears fall. This was the closest she could be to touching him.

To Crystal's fortune, the cemetery was empty. She didn't think she was ready for people just yet.

"How've you been? I'm sorry I didn't visit you on your anniversary. I flew to New York to come here with Mom and Dad that day. I had a fight with Dad again so we flew back to Toronto, it's for work. I'm sorry about that, you could've met him."

She twiddled with her thumbs as her teardrops wet the stone.

"There's a guy, Charlie." She smiled, trying to imagine her brother's face getting all protective. Though, she could only guess what he would look like now that he could've been 24.

"Well, there was a guy." She corrected herself, getting sad again. "He was the one who told me that our family should be together on your anniversary. He even came with me to New York.