Ghosts ✔

078 • Fye

Fye had pictured this weekend very differently. She had booked a hotelroom for a couple of days, hoping Juice and her would come closer together again. Away from Charming, away from all the drama, all the painful memories. Just the two of them. That would have been the perfect moment to tell him. 

Instead, she was sitting at the kitchen table now, all alone, her eyes puffy because of all the crying now she knew she had lost him. She had always known that she wasn't his number one, but the way he had cast her aside yesterday... that really hurt. 

He hadn't come home last night. That could only mean one thing: he had stayed in the clubhouse with Dana. Fye really tried to feel happy for him. Because of the loss of her father she knew his pain. If she would lose the love of her life and would get him back, she probably would have acted the same. She understood him, she couldn't really blame him. But nevertheless it hurt a lot. For she loved him, she didn't want to lose him. Even when she granted him his happiness. 

She felt selfish, but the nagging feeling just didn't go away. 

And her recent discovery would only make things worse. Her nauseousness could have been caused by stress, but she could think of only one reason why her breasts were so sensitive. She had hoped it would bring them closer together, but right now she had no idea how he would respond. 

Maybe she should just leave, so he would never find out. Then he wouldn't be confronted with more pain. If she stayed, it would only cause trouble with Dana. And she just wanted him to be happy. With or without her. 

She held her breath when the key was turned and the front door opened. Nervously she wrapped her arms around her upper body. Was he here to pack his stuff? To officially end their relationship? A stab of pain went through her stomach. She wasn't ready to let him go. 

When he entered the room, she turned her head away and stared at the table top. She just couldn't look him in the eye, not now he was about to destroy everything. She had been fantasizing about a serious future with him for a while now, and when the pregnancy test had been positive, she had really been able to picture it. 

And now, everything fell apart. 

She would probably be a single mother. Maybe he didn't even want the child. It wasn't planned, they had never talked about kids. She thought they had done it safely, but she wasn't sure since there had been a couple of drunk nights. 

Apparently, they hadn't done it safely. 

His footsteps came closer and stopped behind her. She squeezed her eyes, as if that would help her to escape from the inevitable words. As he laid his hands on her shoulders and pressed a kiss in her hair, she was almost about to whimper because she felt so stressed.

"I'm sorry about last night. I just couldn't think straight anymore once I saw her."

Fye shrugged her shoulders. "I get it," she muttered.  "I'm sorry too. I should have been happier for you, but it's just hard to know that I will lose you."

Juice turned the chair to the side and crouched down. "Hey, you're not gonna lose me." He placed a hand on her knee as he looked at her. "I was just completely overwhelmed."

Confused, she looked at him. "What do you mean, I'm not gonna lose you? Aren't you going back to Dana? You love her."

"I love you." He took her hand, pressing kisses to her knuckles. "I love you, Fye."

Dismayed, she kept staring at him. "I don't understand... Yesterday... yesterday you said I meant nothing to you."

"I wasn't thinking yesterday."

She saw that he clenched his jaw. "What happened, Juice?" she asked quietly. "Are you in a fight with her?"

She wasn't stupid – it was hard to believe that he wanted her all of a sudden. 

"She just isn't who she used to be. And neither am I." A dark glow crept into his eyes. "Dana is dead to me."

"But –"

"No but!" he snapped. "I don't wanna hear her name again, okay? Whatever Dana and I had; it's over. It is for years. I was stupid to think things would get back to the way they were. The guy she had fallen in love with is dead. The girl I fell in love with is dead too." Taking a few deep breaths, he tried to keep his anger in check. Once he glanced up to her again, his eyes were calmer. "I'm sorry I kissed her. You think you can forgive me?"

"All you did was kiss?" she asked suspiciously. 

He nodded. "Yeah. I... I couldn't do more. Felt wrong." Again he grabbed her hand and kissed it. "I want you, Fye."

A little uncomfortable she shifted in her chair. He had never said that so frankly to her. The whole situation still didn't feel right. What words had been exchanged between him and Dana? She however didn't dare to ask. 

"Okay," she said eventually. "I forgive you." She caressed his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too. Only you."

Exactly that final addition gave her a heavy feeling in her chest. It felt like he wasn't only trying to convince her. Still – it was a much better outcome than she had thought when she heard the door. Why would she care about the reason he had changed his mind?

She leaned into him and kissed his lips. Meantime she thought about the child that was growing inside her. She didn't dare to tell him yet – not now he was so erratic, now there was already so much on his plate. 

She wasn't in a hurry. She was sure there would be a better day to tell him that he was going to be a dad again, once things had calmed down.  

. . .

So... chickietoma actually inspired me to let Fye get pregnant (thank you!). At first I thought another pregnancy might be a little over the top, even when Dana's pregnancy is three years ago, but after letting the idea sink in I thought it would be the perfect (if not only) way to make Juice a little softer again. Nothing is more powerful than the love for a baby. ;D