Safe With You

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Maya Mendes
- ten minutes later

Shawn had my hands in his. He was facing me and we were both silent.

"Maya, can I start?" He asks. I nod gulping.

"I- give me a second" he sits up and wipes his eyes. "I take full responsibility for what I did. What I did was- was so god damn awful. I broke my promise to never hurt you and I did, in the worse way possible" he begins and I listen to every word carefully.

"I'm so sorry Maya. I know I can't do anything to change it and I can't go back but I want to apologise and I'll beg for your forgiveness everyday Maya. I'll get on my knees and hold my hands out to you and tell you I'm sorry over and over again and I'll mean it every time because I am." Shawn moves down on his knees, he takes my hands and kneels between my legs.

I look down at him feeling my heart break.

"And- and I'll do anything to make it right. I'll do what you want, you know I'll do anything for you Maya Mendes"

I knew he would.

"I'm asking for your forgiveness. I'm in the wrong here and you're allowed to hate me and you're allowed to be upset but I won't let you got through it alone. I know I caused it but I want to fix it, for you" he squeezes my hands gently then moves one to my cheek to wipe my damp skin.

"I want to fix my mistake for you, my best friend, wife and lover and the babies, for Alec and Amira. I want to make it right Maya. I love you and I hate what I did. I understand if you'll leave" he then stops speaking and it falls silent.

"Shawn" I say, letting it out as a whisper. He looks up at me holding my face in his hands. "You won't ever hurt me?"

"Never Maya. If I do next time, leave me. I mean it" he says.

"And you mean it?" I ask.

"I am sorry. I wish there was a stronger word than sorry"

"And you still love me?" I ask, heart pounding.

"Oh Maya I'll never stop. You're the love of my life" he says gently. "Do you?" He asks.

"How can I stop? I haven't stopped since you stopped the cart" I hiccup. I go down into his arms and they welcome me, holding me like I was fragile.

"Am I forgiven?" He asks running his fingers though my hair. "Yes but when I saw you like that it scared me, I'm shaken but I forgive you, I need you Shawn Mendes" I tell him taking his hands in mine.

"And I'm here for you" he kisses the top of my head. We stay like this for a few minutes and it was hard, arguing was hard anyway but this was something else.

"Where are the babies?" He asks me. "With Laurie. I'll tell her to bring them back now" I grab my phone texting her. "And whilst we wait I'll make dinner" he says getting up and I follow.

"I'm sorry again Maya" he kisses my forehead. "And you're forgiven Shawn, show me that I'm safe with you" I lean up pressing my lips against his cheek, leaving them to linger for a few seconds.

I loved him and I believed he wouldn't hurt me again.

-
"Daddy" Alec says sitting on his chest as he was laying down on the sofa. "Yes Al?" He asks looking up at her.

"These ones are the same everyday " he says pointing to his lightbulb tattoo. "Yeah" he chuckles. "Change them. You always wear the same ones" Alec says.

I look up chuckling but Amira giggles making me look back to see that she had grabbed the paintbrush. We were painting together on the floor.

"Mira baby no" I tell her before she destroys the paint. "Daddy" she yells standing up. She takes her paintbrush with her and I just watch.

She swipes the paint on his tattooed arm. "Mira" Shawn gasps, amira starts giggling.

"Mummy me!" She yells at me pointing to his tattoo. "She wants a tattoo" I laugh going over to her and taking the paintbrush but she swipes it across my cheek. "Amira, gimme" I tell her doing my cross face. She hands me the paintbrush and tries to climb on top of Shawn.

"She thinks you're a colouring book" I tell Shawn. "I want more tattoos" he says picking up both babies placing them on the floor and he sits down too. Alec comes over to the paint taking a piece of paper.

"Daddy!" Amira shouts rubbing her small hand over his tattoo that she painted over. "Baby stop" I take her hands wiping the paint off. "Let her" Shawn tells me taking the paintbrush handing it to her.

"Okay then, but don't get it anywhere" I tell him turning to Alec. "Why does daddy wear the same drawings?" He asks me.

"They're there forever baby" I chuckle. "And ever?" He asks. "Hmm maybe you can have one when you're big" I tell him and his face lights up.

"Mama!" Amira calls me to show me Shawn's arm. "Woah baby, what is it?" I ask her.

"Star" she says. I nod looking impressed at the lines on Shawn's arm. "I love it" Shawn chuckles.

"Mummy's turn" she tells me crawling on to my lap. Shawn comes behind me pulling me between his legs I flinch a little but relax into his arms.

I put my arm out and Amira starts moving the paintbrush around then Alec comes over. "Can I have a turn?" He asks. Shawn nods putting his arm out for Alec.

I look up at Shawn seeing him recording Alec and Amira then he stops looking down at me. "I love you" he pecks my lips. "I love you too" I kiss him once more.

"Momma!" Amira calls puckering her lips. I lean down giving her a kiss then I look at my arm and it looked like a mess. "It's beautiful Mira" I tell her making her giggle.

I needed this. I needed my family to be whole.

_
Are we still mad at me?
Only 4 chapters left
I really really really don't want this book to end

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