Touch your heart (Severus Snape)

Chapter 45

I waited for Severus for one hour. We were supposed to have dinner together this night and he kept me waiting until it was 9 P.M. when I heard the door crack open.

"I'm sorry for keep you waiting. I was caught up in work."

"You did?" I asked with a glass of wine on my hand and a book on the other. "Where were you working?"

"In my office." He answered, immediately changing the subject by kissing my forehead and sitting by my side on the couch. I didn't lift my eyes to meet his, and he sensed something wrong. "How was your day?"

"Nothing special. Shopping with Molly." I sighed but continued reading my book.

"Shall we eat?" He asked.

"I'm not very hungry." I simply said. 

Severus knew me very well. He knew I wasn't fully focused on the book. And by the sound of my voice, he knew I was mad with him or I was bothered by something. So he took the book from my hands, much to my annoyance, put it down on the round wooden table along with my cup of wine and made me look at him. I diverted my look to the closed book.

"Are you mad with me for being late?"

"Maybe," I said, not looking him in his eyes.

"I apologize. I know I haven't been with you lately, but it is for a reason." He brushed a strand of hair away from my face. "But right now we need to eat. Did you already had dinner?" I eyed him, sighed and nodded. "Good. Let's eat, then. Tomorrow I have the day entirely for you."

So he kept his promise, as he took me to a quiet Italian restaurant near King's Cross Station. I didn't ask him about that woman, nor why he lied to me when he said he was in his office the whole day, but the conversation flowed like it always does and we ended up talking about something that I've been wanting to ask him.

"They are good people and they really need the money, Severus. You know Molly is a hard worker. Her children are not kids anymore, she doesn't need to stay at home." I had asked him to invite Molly to work on Hogwarts, it's good money and she's a capable woman.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Well, she is a multifaceted woman. She can work on anything. She could be a caretaker, a cooker, anything. Besides, she is good with kids. I think she'll help keep them in line." I eyed him carefully, waiting for a response. "And she's family. And we always help the family."

"I'll see what I can do." He finally said with a soft smiled formed in the corner of his lips. "You still surprise me, you know? Always trying to help everyone around you."

I smiled weakly and looked down to my empty plate. We ate pizza, hot pepperoni, and extra cheese and it was delicious. We also drank some beer and wine and since I'm not used to it, I started feeling my cheeks redden and my head dizzy and lighter.

"I'll talk with the rest of the staff and see where she could help. The rest is up to you. I strongly believe she would accept it if you were the one to talk her into." 

I just nodded and we finished our food. After leaving the restaurant and since Severus noticed the effect that the wine had on me, we decided to go for a walk in the park, hands intertwined feeling the warm summer breeze brushing our hair. It was quiet, thankfully, no kids screaming and playing around, nor the daily rush of the citizens. You could hear the crickets and the owls making sure their presence was felt. 

We heard the clock tower echoing throughout the wind, stroking 12 times. It was already midnight. 

Severus stopped his walk and faced me.

"You know what day is it?" Since I furrowed my brows he smiled and answered. "The first time we kissed."

"Oh, yes it is." I gasped astonished. "You remembered," I recalled that evening, when I went to his chambers, shouting at him for abandoning me during summer vacations in Hogwarts. He stayed there to keep an eye on me, hidden inside his walls but left me alone after a hard discussion. When I went to his chambers to confront him he rushed to me and kissed me against the wall of his kitchen. Damn, the man would take me there if I let him, I thought to myself, laughing internally.

"Of course I remembered how I pinned you against the wall and touched your warm lips for the first time." He embraced me with his arms around my waist and with a kiss planted on my lips. "And then you ran away." He finished his sentence with a sarcastic tone, still with a smile on his face.

"Hey, you were the one calling it a mistake." I pouted and sighed before smiling. "This is all Dumbledore' fault. He was the one that asked me to get close to you... -- He intended this to happen."

"Dumbledore could see more than we both can." For a while, he zoomed out, thoughts racing inside his mind. Guilt. I could see it in his distant eyes, that he kept battling himself about killing Dumbledore. His closest friend. Even though he knows deep down it was necessary and he was in peace now.

"Yes, yes he could. But maybe he was just lucky and this is our destiny." I answered, snapping him out of his guilty trance. "Or maybe you're just a lucky guy and I entered your life. Even if by a mistake." I rolled my eyes playfully.

"You were never a mistake." He leaned his forehead against mine and closed his eyes, feeling my warm breath on his face.

"You promise?" I asked, thankful for having the second opportunity in life to be with the man I love.

"Always." He pressed his lips against mine and pulled me tighter by my waist. I sighed after breaking the kiss, resting my head on the crock of his neck. "What is it, love? I sense something is indeed bothering you and somehow you fear to speak."

"Am I that transparent?" I muffled a laugh.

"Like clear water." He smiled at me, cupping my cheeks again and forcing me to look up. "Please, share your thoughts with me."

Seeing in his eyes the same love I've been seeing all these years was enough to keep me sane, to keep me healthy and to keep me alive. After everything we've been through I know, I shouldn't be afraid of this love and shouldn't question it.

"Do you love?" I asked and his expression fell and melted.

"I do. More than anything."

"Only me?" I asked, tears running down my cheek.

"It will always be only you." He wiped the tears away and smiled, even though his eyes kept a worried gaze. "Do not doubt that, never. I want to marry you. I want to have a family with you. Only you. Please, never doubt that." And he kissed my lips several times until he made me smile.

"Then, nothing is bothering me."  Severus smiled back and intertwined his fingers with mine.

"Let's go home." He said, disapparating instantly back to Hogwarts.