Touch your heart (Severus Snape)

Chapter 5

It was almost Christmas time, the kids were excited by getting back home. I remembered when I was their age that I didn't feel like them. It was like hell when I had to back home. To my dungeon-room, to the violence... 

My nightmares came back. Probably because of this time of the year. And, somehow, they were becoming more vivid than ever.

When I stepped out of the Hogwarts express, the Black's' butler was waiting for me as he always does.  The other kids had their parents waiting for them, happy for their homecoming. But mine never showed up to wait for my arrival.

"How was school?" He would always ask.

"Great, as ever." I would say, tears already falling down my cheek as the mansion's' gates opened to me.

My parents wouldn't be home to receive me and when they were, they would ask me if I already ended my friendship with the half-bloods. They would know if I was lying, so I always told them the truth and they would send me to my "room". Even though my mother was as bad as my dad, she kinda showed love for me once a while. She would bring me candies or kiss my forehead before tucking me to bed. But she never opposed to my father behavior towards me.

And the rest of the family? Well, my cousins mocked me everytime they could, they would prank me, or they would make blunders and then incriminated me.  So I was beaten up by my father and my uncles. 

Oh, and my uncles. More particularly, uncle Maxime, the one that hurt me the most. He was the one that made me run away from everything. The things he did to me... I didn't know what I did to deserve it, and I still don't know.

"A beautiful girl like you, in a hole like this. I could make good use of you. Your father doesn't know what he's missing" He would say to me after making... good use of me.

I woke up screaming, sweating like hell, heavy breathing and dizzy. My heart was racing and I didn't find the strength to calm down. Tears were clouding my vision as I tried to get out of bed, but the knot on my throat prevented me from crying for help.

I fumbling touched the door handle in the dark and almost fainted, but I managed to open it and leave my chambers into the dark corridors of an empty Hogwarts. My destination was unknown to me, but I needed someone to help me - I felt like I was dying. Stumbling against the walls, difficulty in breathing and vision blurred, I tried to ask for help, but it was worthless, so I let my body fall on the floor, like the weight of the world was on my back.

Suddenly I felt two arms picking me up from the floor, someone calling my name and I could see more people there, with wands, illuminating the darkness. The last thing I could see before everything went dark was Snape's' worried features as he carried me on his arms.

"You're a worthless piece of trash. You can't even be the family pride. A brilliant mind like yours should have brilliant beliefs as we do "My father shouted at me. His hand connected with my face with a violent slap on my face. "As punishment, you won't have dinner tonight. Maybe tomorrow you'll do as we say."

That's when uncle Maxime would take advantage of me, locked away on the deepest hole of the house, where no one could listen.

The sunrays hurt my eyes as I tried to open them slowly. Memories of the previous night came to me as I tried to get up from that strange bed.

"Don't get up honey." Madame Pomfrey was right by my side, gently forcing me to lay down. "You scared us last night."

"What happened?"

"I believe you suffered a panic attack. Does this happens often?"

I was still frustrated by the situation. "Yeah... Uhm, but never live this."