Touch your heart (Severus Snape)

Chapter 16

"So, did you sleep well?" Sirius asked me, with a suspicious grin on his face.

I got up at 10 A.M. the next day, a total wreck. Dark circles around my eyes, yawning all the time and I was almost sleeping at breakfast. Every time I closed my eyes I felt Severus lips on mine, his caress on my face and his body heat against mine. How could a man like him provoke these sensations all over my body? I was snapped back to the world by Sirius. "Hã?" I asked.

"I asked you if you slept well." He was grinning even more. Scary.

"As you can see, no," I answered, bothered with his matinal energy.

"Why? Any nocturnal activity kept you awake?" He lifted his brow with a mischievous look on his eyes. Fuck, he knows.

"What are you talking about?" Molly asked, serving coffee to the table.

"Thank god," I muttered putting coffee in my mug.

"Nothing important," Sirius stated and winked at me.

The rest of the breakfast was quiet. Or not. - I was sleepy, I can't tell. - But as soon as everyone else ran from the table to see who would be the first to take a shower, I was left alone with Sirius.

"So, breaking the icy heart of Severus Snape, are you?" He finally spoke. He was dying inside to talk. Brat.

"SHHH, no one needs to know what happened." I shush him and he grinned.

"I won't tell." He crossed his index fingers on his mouth kissing them, just like a child would do. "So, you and Severus, huh?"

"No. Not me and Severus. There's nothing going on."

"You were practically making babies on this table." He looked disgusted at the table and took his arms off it.

"It won't happen again," I said sternly.

"Yeah yeah, and I'm the Santa Claus. Don't lie to me. What's going on? Are you two seeing each other?"

I sighed. I knew I couldn't lie to him, but I didn't know what to answer either. "I don't know, ok? Severus is not the person to talk about this kind of stuff. It just happened. More than once if you want to know."

He widened his eyes and his creepy grin came back.

"And you're a creep, you know? Spying on people!"

"I was just going for a glass of wine, you were the ones making out in my dining room!" He protested.

"Ok, Ok, point taken." I lifted my arms in defeat.

We smiled at each other but after that, he didn't talk about what happened anymore. And a few days later it was time for us to go back to Hogwarts. So our goodbyes were once again hard. Sirius had the saddest face I have ever seen. I hugged him for some time, before pulling away and get out of the house.

****

Things in Hogwarts got worst. Dumbledore ran away from the Ministry of Magic, Dolores was now the headmaster, nominated by Fudge himself. And Severus was distant, - nothing new.

When Dolores was nominated headmaster I was furious and confused at the same time. Dumbledore asked us to trust him and I wanted to do it. But with him away from the school, I felt weak, exposed, vulnerable, unsafe. Anyone could get to me now that he wasn't protecting me.

And the nightmares came back. Along with the panic attacks.

I fell asleep on my couch, and I woke up abruptly, breathing heavy, heart racing and panic all over me.

Since I wasn't able to calm down, I looked at my watch marking midnight and opened my door with difficulty.

Once again I was knocking on the door of the only person that could keep me safe. Severus moved quickly to the door and his expression melted when he saw tears in my eyes. Without saying anything he let me in and led me to the couch, opening his arms to receive me in his embrace.

After a while, I calmed down and was able to speak. "With Dumbledore away from Hogwarts, we are vulnerable."

"Yes, I'm afraid yes." He whispered, caressing my hair.

"I don't feel safe anymore. They can get me now that Dumbledore is away. They can take me..."

He interrupted me, cupping my face. "No. I won't let anyone hurt you."

"You're always away. How can you protect me?" I asked, still mad for his constant distance from me.

"I... " He didn't dare to end his sentence.

Sadness took over me and I pulled away from him. "I shouldn't have come here. I'm sorry."

He grabbed my arm, not letting me get up. "You can always come to me, Angel. Always. And I will never be apart from you. I need to protect you. I won't fail on you."

I gasped. "What are you saying, Severus?"

He didn't answer me. He just planted a kiss on my lips and looked into my eyes. "I can't stay away from you anymore. I tried. But I can't. You are so special, Angel. So special to me." He pulled me into a hug and I melted instantly.

"So are you to me," I whispered and we remained like that for some time. "What are we going to do, Severus? Now that Dolores is controlling Hogwarts."

"You have to fall in her good graces first. Otherwise, she will pick a fight against you." He said. "I can't help you with that. We need to remain distant out there."

"Distant out there, but together inside these walls?" I asked, smiling hopefully.

"If that is what you desire." He smiled.

"It is."

"So do I." He kissed me again, pulling me closer until I'm on his lap, finally letting my feelings get the best of me.