What do you wish for? (complete)

Chapter 20

The three of us sat around the dining table and hashed out more ideas and plans about how to carry out the intensives. As well as coming up with game plans and ideas on how to protect my Roza and the triplets.

When they asked I explained to them about my ring and the reason behind it. I told them more about the darkness and that if Roza ever got upset and I wasn't around for some reason or another, to send for me immediately. As I am the only one who can truly calm her when she is in the grip of the darkness.

And that while in the grip of the darkness she is manipulative beyond reproach. As well as violent like they never want to experience. I told them something that no one knows about mine and Roza's first major battle with the darkness. Not even Roza herself knows this.

"The first time that we battled the darkness in a big way, she ended up breaking three of my ribs. But she doesn't know that, and I don't want her to ever find out."

I stressed to them the importance that Roza remain ignorant of this particular piece of information.

"Because she would hate herself and never be able to forgive herself. She is desperately afraid of what she might do to others while she is in the grip of the darkness."

"How can you tell when she is in its hold?" Donnie asked.

I almost laughed. "If you know Roza at all then it's almost impossible not to be able to tell. As I said she becomes very manipulative her tone of voice even changes. She becomes cold, unforgiving, vindictive and cruel she says some truly evil and vile things. But, as I said that is not my Roza. That is the evil that has leaked into her from Lissa trying to take control of my Roza. She doesn't have to actively take it from Lissa, just having the bond makes it automatically leak into her. Roza has no idea what she's saying or doing and sometimes, if it's bad enough, she has no memory of it afterwards."

"Poor Rose." Mishka said sadly.

"You can feel bad about the circumstances of the bond, but don't ever pity her. Because if she thinks that you are pitying her she will kick your ass just to show you that it's not a good idea."

They laughed but the look on my face showed them that I was dead serious. Then they swallowed, hard.

"She would have made the best guardian that the ranks had ever seen. She is miles ahead of her biological mother, Art Schoenberg, and I all rolled into one. She has Janine's genetics, my training, her father's mind and her own dedication and determination." They looked completely shocked at my words.

We continued our previous discussion and I told them everything that they would need to know in order to help me keep my family safe.

Over the next two days we all watched the tournament. And discovered that Stepan hadn't been kidding about the level of fighting ability or lack thereof I should say, in the female novices.

Stepan had also been right when he'd said that Vika was the best of the group. But she wasn't even as good as Roza had been when I had first started working with her. And that scared me. The very thought that my little sister could have been sent out to protect someone from strigoi at this level of training, chertov petrified me. (fucking)

I was so glad that I had been able to teach Roza what she needed to know. Because had she graduated at this level of training and become a guardian. She would have been dead within just a few months if not weeks.

Unless Lissa had been willing to stay within the wards of court. Which knowing just how little that she actually cared about my Roza's life, she wouldn't have done. Like ninety percent of the royals, she wouldn't have wanted to curtail her activities and vain selfish pursuits, just to keep Roza safe and alive.