tw gun
i ran into the kitchen and jumped at brendon. "woah. hey" he grinned as i hugged him. "hello" i smiled up at him. he was making breakfast. sarah was sitting at the table drinking coffee. "you look happy" he said.
"today fewlsblike a good day" i released and sat next to sarah. "hi"
"whats up?" she asks.
"i woke up. i look good. im turning 18 in two months" i did jazz hands.
"rileys rubbing off on you. you look so gay" she said.
"thanks" i smiled.
i was wearing blue jeans that were rolled up, a crop top with two girls kissing on the front, a flannel which i'd tied up and converse. "bisexual culture at its finest" brendon pointed to the cuffs of my jeans.
"agreed - she cant even sit properly" sarah giggled. i was cross legged except one leg dangled.
"don't forget the flannel" i said as brendon tossed me an apple.
there was a knock at the door soon enough. i got up and raced to it. i opened it up and wanted to scream.
"you won't give up will you?" i said.
it was janice.
"this is the last time im asking"
"ask away" i rolled my eyes.
"can we get back together?"
it was quiet. "no"
i was about to shut the door when she pushed it back.
"i think you're making a mistake" she hissed. she produced a gun from her pocket. my eyes widened. she held it up to her head. "take me back. or i shoot"
"no. no no janice" i whispered.
"what the fuck is going on?" brendon was walking over.
"y-you don't have to do this" i said.
"whats the point living if its not with you?" she gripped the gun.
i turned to brendon. "it's nothing we're just talking" i shoved my phone at him and gestured him to leave.
"she has a fucking gun" he whispered, "what are you doing?"
"go"
he hesitated then went back to the kitchen and slid "emergency call". i turned to my ex girlfriend.
"we can talk! you don't need to end this!"
"you don't know how bad its been killing me inside! seeing you with other people. being rejected over and over" she hissed. her sleeve went up revealing scars - but not normal scars.
my name. she was fucking crazy.
"that dosent mean it has to end! we can be friends?" i did not want to be her friend.
"take me back. or i pull" my hand flew over my mouth. my breathing accelerated as tears filled my eyes.
"please. i-i promise we can think of something"
"so you'd rather be unhappy? remember what we had. the dates, the cuddles, you cried on me all the time, i know everything about you" she stepped closer to me.
memories surfaced to my head - i wanted to forget it all so bad that i made myself forget. but really, our relationship wasn't it. it was toxic. and scary.
"no! you manipulated me, lied to me, used me, cheated on me!" i was choking on my own tears. "the amount of times i thought i wasn't good enough because of you a-and how you made me feel! making me feel bad when j attempted after YOU fucking touched me - when i begged you not to" i was crying so hard.
sirens were heard in the distance. "you took away the only self respect i had for myself left. you manipulated me into thinking 'she's my girlfriend. i have to let her do this' well guess fucking what!? you had no right! you psychotic bitch!" i watched as she dropped the gun as the police put her wrists in cuffs.
"good fucking riddanxe" i whispered, letting the final tears roll down my cheeks. i watched as they pulled her away and pushed her into a car. my parents came over and held me while they spoke to the officers. me and janices eye contact didn't break once.
أنت تقرأ
high hopes | brendon urie
قصص الهواة"if i killed myself tonight, the stars would still appear, the sun would still come out, the earth would still rotate, the seasons would still change, so why not brendon?" tw mental health, sexual assault, self harm, suicide attempts, homophobia
