i walked out of the room and wiped the smile off my face - i did not want to get laughed at. i put my earphones in and went to my room and locked myself in my room. i went onto spotify and looked for panic! at the disco. i pressed on 'death of a bachelor' as im unloved for life. i fell in love as soon as the music filled my ears - it was jazz.
my mom loved jazz.
i changed the song and crazy = genius played. i liked this one a lot more. i scrolled through instagram and found brendons instagram. i gave him a follow and looked through - he loved performing and his fans but why is he obsessed with denim jackets with hoodies?? what the shit is a piss-eption? ohh... piception!!
my door opened. tony, brendon, yanny and laurel walked in. i took my earphones out and looked at them all nervously.
"alexa you need to pack your bags" laurel said to me.
"w-why?" i asked stupidly.
brendon grinned. "because you're now my daughter"
i didn't even know what to say. i'd just been adopted. tony snapped his fingers in my face in order to catch my attention.
"i should help you pack" he said quietly. i nodded while brendon went out of the room with yanny and laurel.
as we packed i was still trying to process what had just happened - a famous millionaire singer had just adopted a broken 14 year old teenager. why me? he could have picked katie or dorothy or jane or simone. why me??
"okay. we're done" he zipped up my suitcase and i got my backpack.
"tony" i said, shaking slightlu."d-do you promise we'll always be friends?" i whispered. "o-of course! we can still talk. a-and i'll see you at school..." he trailed off.
i nodded but knew it wasn't possible...i burst out crying.
"i cant leave you"
"no alexa. you need to get away from here for a fresh start. you need professional help and parental support. if you go with brendon then i'll be happy. we can still talk a-and write to each other. everything is gonna be okay" he gave me a hug and i cried harder. "my favourite song by panic! is this is gospel. so" he intertwined our fingers. "if you love me. let me go"
"you wanna say goodbye to anyone?" brendon asked as i came downstairs.
"uh..." i did NOT.
"i think you should just go" tony nudged me. "yeah! uh good idea" i agreed awkwardly. i hugged tony one last time and left. i knew i was going to cry again. but i feared brendon would judge me. he was kind but i was still terrified.
he let me sit at the front next to him. he turned the radio on and i write sins was on.
"welcometo emo quartel" i joked.
brendon laughed. "too right"
"Oh, well imagine
As I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor
And I can't help but to hear
No, I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words
What a beautiful wedding
What a beautiful wedding, says a bridesmaid to a waiter
And, yes, but what a shame
What a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore
I chime in with a
Haven't you ever heard of closing a goddamn door?
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
I chime in
Haven't you ever heard of closing a goddamn door?
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of
Oh, well in fact
Well I'll look at it this way
I mean, technically, our marriage is saved
Well this calls for a toast
So pour the champagne
Oh, well in fact
Well I'll look at it this way
I mean, technically, our marriage is saved
Well this calls for a toast
So pour the champagne, pour the champagne
I chime in with a
Haven't you ever heard of closing a goddamn door?
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
I chime in
Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
Again
I chime in
Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
I chime in
Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
Again"
we both laughed as it ended.
"you like singing?" he asked me.
"its fun" i decided as he pulled up outside a pretty house.
"we're home"
home. i've waited to hear that word for so long. i had a house. but it wasn't my home.
we got out and brendon took my bags. he gave me the keys and i opened up.
"BABE IM HOME!" brendon yelled.
i jumped slightly and quickly shut the door. two dogs came running in and barked at brendon. he smiled and picked them up, showering them with love.
"meet penny lane and bogart" he handed me the Boston terrier.
"how did you know that Boston terriers are my favourite breed!?" i exclaimed as she licked my cheek.
"we got penny in 2010" he told me as they ran off.
foosteps came running down the stairs. a pretty lady about brendons age - im guessing that was his wife.
"you must be alexa! im sarah. aka your mom" she smiled.
"h-hi" i said awkwardly.
"adorable" she commented. me and brendon giggled - he knew i got shy.
he showed me to my room and let me unpack. i was fast as i didn't have a lot but then i looked around the room. i wasn't feeling it. why was the bed next to the window?? and the closet is too big. i dont have that much, do i?
"you good?" brendon walked in and took my suitcase. i couldn't complain.
"you wanna move everything around??"
well.
since you offered.
YOU ARE READING
high hopes | brendon urie
Fanfiction"if i killed myself tonight, the stars would still appear, the sun would still come out, the earth would still rotate, the seasons would still change, so why not brendon?" tw mental health, sexual assault, self harm, suicide attempts, homophobia
