high hopes | brendon urie

31: meltdown

tw

i got into the house and heard brendon. "you have some expla-are you okay?" he saw my tears. i wiped them and nodded. "im not sure if i believe you" he said. "im fine" i sniffled. "did riley do something?" he asked. "nothing happened" i went up the stairs. "alexa" brendon tugged at my hand.

i pulled away. "don't touch me!"  i exclaimed. he jumped back in surprise. "alexa" he said, sounding hurt. "alexa! you're back!" sarah ran down the stairs and hugged me.

i got out of her grip. "stop!" i yelped. sadness filled her eyes. "alexa whats up?" she asked. "im fine! j-just stop asking questions!" i went down the stairs and saw zack was back. "i heard shouting from outside" he said. "something happened to alexa" brendon said. "nothing happened!" i lied.

"alright alexa-" zack stepped forward.
"zack if you fucking touch me i swear god!"
my parents looked shocked. "alexa calm down" sarah said.
everyone was looking at me like i was crazy.
"look. just go to your room and just...be alone for a bit" brendon said, gently pulling sarah downstairs.

i started to cry again and went to my room. i slid down the wall sobbing. anger filled my body. i let out a cry and threw my phone at the mirror. the glass shattered. i picked up the sharpest piece and held it against my wrist, tears streaming down my cheeks. its like his hands were still there.

"stop!"

i froze. "alexa please! anything but that! what happened? we can talk about it. brendon and sarah a-and i can help! just please! dont leave me" riley sobbed.

i dropped the glass and turned around. "you promised riley" i hissed. i stepped closer. "you fucking promised!" i shouted. "alexa w-what did he do?" she whimpered. "he fucking touched thats what! you promised he wouldn't do anything! i trusted you! a-and all i fucking got was to be treated like i was nothing! again! i got assaulted! again"

"alexa...im so sorry" she whispered.
"just go" i shivered, wiping my eyes.
brendon came in. "c'mon riley. let her be" he said. he was crying. riley nodded and left the room. he looked at me. "get some rest. w-we'll talk later" he sniffled. i didn't think twice. i climbed into bed and went to sleep.