"are you okay?" riley asked me again.
i nodded as tears rolled down my cheeks. i was thinking about janice during break and i'd broken sown crying.
"here" she gave me a hug and i sobbed harder. "i broke up with my girlfriend the other day" i sniffled.
"you gay?" she pondered.
"bi" i corrected her. "she cheated on me. we only dated for a few months but she meant so much to me a-and now shes gone" i whispered. "she is a bitch" riley declared.
"i-i really liked her...a-and...i-i just can't believe she did that"
"hey. she isnt worth it. okay, so many girls would want you. you are everything anyone would want. dont you dare beat yourself up" she squeezed my hand. i nodded and wiped my tears. "you'll find someone way better and you'll see how much your worth. i promise"
she was honestly so sweet. the bell rang and we headed to biology. jake noticed my tears but didn't press - but he did offer me his shoulder and to split his chocolate. which i denied but it was sweet.
i went home that day and cried my eyes out to girl im red. i missed janice so much - she stuck with me through all the abuse, she listened to me. she made me happy. i didn't go downstairs to see so brendon picked my lock and came in.
"i know theres more to the story but no pressure" he said as he put a bowl of cherries on my desk.
"do you mind...?" i wiped my tears and patted the space next to me.
"im glad you asked"
it took me a while to get it out but i did.
"she sounds awesome...but she sucks" brendon commented.
"not wrong" i looked at him. "im probably being stupid as fuck but i miss her so much" i sniffled.
"you're not, i promise" he paused. "you loved her didn't you?" he asks.
"pretty much" i sighed.
"just know none of it is your fault. if she chose to be shitty to you then know it was not anything you did" he said. "whatever happened to you i promise you'll heal. i'll even help if you want" he added.
"you're so nice. i-its insane" i replied.
"you mean a lot to me" he said with a genuine look in his eye.
"likewise"
it felt good to let it out. brendon was so lovely. we went downstairs to have our dinner. sarah was happy to see that i was okay. i was happy i was okay too
YOU ARE READING
high hopes | brendon urie
Fanfiction"if i killed myself tonight, the stars would still appear, the sun would still come out, the earth would still rotate, the seasons would still change, so why not brendon?" tw mental health, sexual assault, self harm, suicide attempts, homophobia
