When Stars are Hidden

Chapter 35

Tawfiq could clearly remember his conversation with Harriet as if it were just yesterday.

~
"You want to marry her?" Harriet had said with slight shock.

They were just talking about random stuff when Tawfiq decided to tell Harriet about him proposing to Naima.
He truly did not really get why he wanted to marry Naima himself. He just wanted to was all. He wanted to have her always by him and hold her at anytime.

"Yeah. She indirectly turned me down. Twice." Tawfiq chuckled.

"Ouch. That must have hurt." Harriet said with a pained smile.
She herself remembered how she turned John down a few times.

"It hurt a little but not so much. She neither said Yes or No. The first time, she told me I was crazy. The second time I asked her was in the hospital a few weeks ago. She told me to ask her again after she finished school." Tawfiq said.

He was staring at the wall like it held something important to him.

" That's a reasonable answer. She doesn't seem like she is in any rush. Do you love her? " Harriet asked out of nowhere.

Tawfiq choked on his air. He never really asked himself that. He had feelings for Naima. That, he knew but he did not know if it was love yet. Maybe in awhile it could be. He wanted to marry her to keep her safe from her father and because he admired her. And well he also wanted to be with her at every second of the day.

He did not want to dive straight into love. Once bitten twice shy. He thought.

"I'm not sure. Maybe. I don't even know. I know I have deep feelings for her but I can't say it's love yet. That's why I want to marry her. I don't want to be tempted to do anything. I hugged her when I was in the hospital and even though she didn't say it out loud I know she didn't want that because it wasn't right. "

" Okay. She gave you three years to ask her again. I think it's a pretty good thing for both of you. Don't pressure her to feel obliged to give you answers. I know you, Tawfiq. You will end up doing something for her to make her feel indebted to you even though you don't mean that. Give her space but look out for her. If you make her confused even more and it affects her studies you may not get the answer you want when you ask her again. " Harriet paused to give him a smile.

"I'm speaking from experience. If she really feels the same way as you she will miss you every second but she will try to ignore the fact because that's a woman for you. You can even use that time to reflect on your self. Are you really ready to be committed? Marriage isn't all rainbows and cotton candies. You can use the time to think things through. She might realize you are keeping your distance but I'm sure she will understand. "
Harriet concluded.

Tawfiq made a sad pout face.

" But three years is so long. How will I survive without seeing Habiba that long? "

〰️

That was three years ago.
He thought it would never come but it did.
He couldn't stop any sort of communication with Naima for sure. They would see each other once in a while at the masjid or sometimes at the mall. And he'd sometimes text her to check up on her. She'd send stuff to him on his birthday and he'd do same.

Truth be told, it was really hard. At one point, he felt like going to her to beg her to let them get married instantly. But he stopped himself.
And that was how he knew he couldn't live without her. She was everything to him.

He didn't know how he did it but Alhamdulilah he did it and he was happy he sailed through the 3 years.

Tawfiq had once thought Naima might have been mad at him at first.
He had sent her chocolates and cake on her birthday but he did not get any reply from her like expected.