The Bad Girl's Kit Kat (GirlxGirl)

45| Graduation

Kiersten|

Now that school was finally over, a lot of my stress disappeared. Never in a million years would I imagined going trough so many traumatic events, one after another. All that I could express was how happy things had been turning out in the present. The softball girl who struggled immensely due to substance abuse, has been doing extremely well which made me proud. In my heart, I always knew she could get somewhere if she really tried to push herself. Once in a while, Skylar would come over to my place for dinner or hanging out, and we slowly started to become super good friends. Both her and I knew that the two of us just didn't match well when it came to romance. With the slightly taller girl still recovering, there was no way she could force upon feelings that she didn't feel anymore. I think when I lost my memory, her having superior powers over me, excited her and now that I'm not as oblivious anymore, she felt as if I had been out of her league.

For me, that wasn't the case at all. Sometimes people have to experience how they work together before being quick to start a relationship and I took a shot, thinking something grand would happen. It did though, just not in the way I would of imagined. Nonetheless, everything happens with a purpose and I wouldn't trade the friendship we were building for anything else. After forgiving the words she used on me at Dianna's party months ago, Skylar really made an effort to mend whatever conflicts that I as well as her family, had towards her. It wasn't my idea to not date, but hers because deep down, she knew those feelings of love she had towards me, weren't real. It was a facade for a character she portrayed me to be and wanted me to stay as which we both knew was unhealthy. I also knew that my feelings towards her were unfair since I was trying to force something to happen for her own benefit without taking mine in consideration.

Skylar Cadwell was finally happy with herself and that was as good as it was going to get for me when it came to her.

Without the softball girl playing a huge role withing my high school era, I don't think I would have learned the importance of what many people go through within the world we live in. Sure, Skylar's problems were not as severe as mine since there were choices she could of chose to correct the various mistakes made, but that didn't mean her journey was any easier. She was toxic, we were toxic, everything about was had been so unhealthy, I had been simply thankful we could even bare a friendship. I was glad she turned into someone better, I really was.

I just wish the positivity she was feeling, could reflect onto me as well; it was needed.

Since I broke Heidi's heart a while back, I had been a complete emotional wreck, all in secrecy. No one knew about my feelings because I hid them well, even Kennedy thought I lost interest in the basketball star since the star herself told my sister everything that happened. It was so weird to me how they remained having such a great relationship despite the fact that I ruined things. The last few months since that day was brutal, especially when I'd see her in the hallways. She'd always hang her head down low, pretending I was nonexistent. There were a few times I found her tearing up, talking to her teammates about the feelings she felt while I was in the locker room during opened gyms. If you could just imagine the sound of complete silence with one voice breaking through it, filled with devastation, failure to comprehend, and anxiety mixed all into one, I'm sure you'd feel nothing but empathy.

When I made my decision to leave her, I felt as if she'd be the strong girl I pictured her to stay as. Heidi barely ever cried, if she did, it would never be in front of anyone but me. The fact that she expressed the feelings of fragility in front of her whole team, hurt me. I didn't think I would be that much of a concern towards her because I always felt like I loved her more than she loved me. Yet, maybe I interpreted my actions of doing more, mistakenly since everybody expresses their love differently. While I had been more of the girlfriend to come up with scavenger hunts and huge presents, especially the ones that grasped attention, Heidi was the type to do the small things. Thinking about it now, every time she asked for me to eat or would cook, was like an 'I love you'.