Selfie With The Mafia

Book II - | 13 |

Song: Ed Sheeran - All of the Stars

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The truth is in the skies,
No hiding from that power.

- Seeker ~via Instagram

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Aaron

       The silence is deafening.

Looking through the fireplace, I chugged the remains of wine. The burn was bitterly familiar and as it worked it's way down my throat, it was taking me back to the times where I used to drown my sorrows.

I still do.

"You're not real," I wish I sounded more commanding, more convincing but I couldn't. I felt my shoulders drop in defeat and I closed my eyes tightly. It was hurting so fūcking bad. The nausea swirled unrestrained in my empty stomach. My head swam with half-formed regrets. My heart felt as if my blood had become tar as it struggled to keep a steady beat. My melancholy mood hung over me like a black cloud, raining my personal sorrow down on me wherever I went. She was here and yet she wasn't.

I have made a mess, trying to figure out what could have possibly been the worst thing in this life. It was a cruelty of life that forced one's heart to live even after it's broken. It could feel as though it was being gripped in an ice-cold vice and ache as if it will implode in your chest. This wasn't fair; this was not worth living.

There was no relief to be found.

At least the glowing embers of fire leaped to life. This was not just fire. It was death. It was a giant wave, a storm, rolling in on itself, undulating like some grotesque creature hell-bent on my murder. And it seemed like it was hurtling towards me at staggering speed.

This time she knelt in front of me, staring at me with eyes that asked so many questions. She wasn't here again. It was just another illusion. My mind was playing games with me because I have consumed so much alcohol again, I might not even recognise my face in the mirror.

But when I felt a hand pressed on my knee, I tried to shake the sense of how real it was but I couldn't. She was really here this time, I was not dreaming, I could feel her warmth.

To say she's beautiful undermined her. It was not enough. There weren't any words strong enough to describe how breathtaking she was. Her skin was like ivory shining even in the weak light. My body needed to possess her. I wanted to consume her soul, to bind it with mine so I know she's protected and touched only by me.

The glass slipped from my hold and I couldn't help but push closer to her. I closed my eyes and leaned down, nuzzling the space between her neck and shoulder.

I breathe.

"Ava." After all these months, I've said her name more than enough. It still came out of my mouth like a prayer, a curse, and a promise all at once. I could finally touch her again and my heart might not make it through this moment.

My puzzle piece just locked with hers and I was complete.

Her body tensed in my embrace and she doesn't move the whole time. I heard her sharp intake of breath as my hands slid back up her thighs and to her waist, and pulled her flush against me.

She gasped.

I just sat there, relishing her in my arms, enjoying every single seconds that passed with her against me. It was beautiful. Living felt a lot easier now.