Selfie With The Mafia

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Want Good or bad Drake?

Song: I knew you were trouble by Taylor Swift.

.      .      .

Drake

           
             I could barely have any thoughts about anything. My mind was swirling with all the revelation. This felt so unreal, like it was a dream and not a harsh fate.

If I had said my thoughts out loud, maybe this wouldn't have happened.

Maybe this girl holding me closer to her would have been mine.

Maybe everything would have been too good.

But who knew these few months could fūck you up so much that you couldn't hold on to anymore.

But who knew these few months would be devastatingly unfortunate.

Who knew these few months could be the death of you.

Fūck. I was feeling vivid again. I knew I was causing a lot trouble by my silence but I couldn't help myself. I was drowning and I couldn't find anything to hold on to. I was alone, nobody to save me.

I was breaking inside, the many reasons being the cause. I lost everything I loved and held so close to me. What did I ever do to get this cruelty?

This was never my choice. I never wanted to get into an accident. I was so drunk, whacked and in the state of breaking that I didn't see the approaching truck. Before I could do anything, the pain had me dieing and I was caged in the pit of darkness.

But it was gone.

Voice, gone.

This was making me numb. By each passing minutes, I was enraged to see any musical instruments in my room. It was reprimanding me of my lose. Rage was over my senses so much that by the time reality coursed my veins, I realised what a mess I had done.

I had destroyed my most prized possession. Like a bucket of cold water poured over my head, I made my dreams a mess and it was too late to turn back.

I had the sudden urge to drown myself in the darkness, succumb in the vacuum until I couldn't take it anymore. Drenched in the bathtub, I made myself a wrecked mess, a mess that was beyond repair.

So much mess in my life.

No matter how much I tried to help myself, it was only pushing me further. There was a crushing pain in my chest that wouldn't stop and I knew my love for everything wouldn't work even if I tried to.

My head throbbed. I slid my arm over my left knee and pulled it tighter against my chest, trying to ease the pain there. But it didn't seem to happen.

Fūck. It only ache more.

She was here with me. Her hands looped over my neck, rocking me back and forth soothingly, I nuzzled deeper into her embrace, feeling my body going lax.

She always helped me.

But I knew there was no next time. She was someone else's. She loved someone else's and not me. The thing I tried to keep up for so long finally set free, wetting my cheeks.

I was so fūcked. I didn't want to break in front of her. She had seen me before but I didn't want her to see me now. Not just this time.

"No, Drake. You didn't lose me." I heard her whisper. My eyes shot open when the realisation sunk in.

She was startled when I jerked back, a small gasp escaping her lips. What was she trying to tell by that? I didn't lose her? Was she doing what I think she was doing?