Selfie With The Mafia

Book II - | 11 |

"I had business?" It sounded more like a question to myself. That's what happens whenever you have your mother in front of you, questioning. Even if I was a Mafia who inspired fear in others, she was the one whom I respected and feared the most.

She stared at me intently and tried to peek behind me to which I simply made it difficult for her by crowding the area more. I know she would be skeptic after my behaviour towards her like this but I wasn't ready to show Ava to her.

"You are hiding something, che cos'è?"
"Mama, it's nothing. Let's go, you have just come--"

"Aaron."

I paused. It was an order, something she barely did and I readily obliged. I moved away completely for her to go in. Once she came inside, I heard her gasping in utter shock.

"Who is she? And what have you done to her?"

For the first time in a long time, I accepted and spoke in clear words in front of a person whom I trusted, "She's the one I love."

•••

I didn't know why it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. My confession was hardly self-willing. Did I say it to make myself or mama to feel complaisant?

Mama was sitting on the couch with her head resting over the palm of her hands when I finished telling her everything that happened. She was comprehending. After everything I thought, this was definitely not what I was expecting.

Women are unpredictable.

This felt better. Maybe I should have just accepted and said to anyone who was close to me. Maybe I shouldn't have kept it all buried inside my chest, at least I wouldn't have been worse.

"She was the reason you were devastated for months, wasn't she?" She asked after a long moment of silence and I couldn't agree more. I nodded, entwining her fingers with mine, my eyes glued on her, admiring and cherishing her feel.

"Our lives are totally different, Aaron. Where have you gotten yourself into?" She chastised, her voice breaking in between.

"I messed up, Mama, I can't help myself." I broke my stare and looked at my mother in my vulnerable state. "Is it possible that she could forgive me? I know I shouldn't have gone after her, if I had just came back to Italy before Christmas, life would have been normal--"

"Does she makes you happy?" She cut in and I nodded without a thought. "Then, Why regret something you once wanted?" an imperceptible smile on her face.

"Do not become like your father, Aaron. Do not leave her like your father did to me. If you love her, then make yourself worth for her." She finished and came to stand beside me. Mama leaned down and kissed my forehead before ruffling my hair, smiling as she did.

I couldn't smile back. I didn't know what was wrong but it didn't feel right. "It's not wrong to love, although you have chosen someone who doesn't belong to our world but we cannot change our fates. Win her back, mio figlio. Nobody will exist in this world if we stop loving. Confess what you feel, tell her your reasons, she will understand. A King always needs a queen and She is going to be yours."

"She doesn't loves me anymore. Ava hates me, it's as obvious as the sun."

Mama laughed, shaking her head, "A woman does not leave her country and comes to another just to say she hates you. She must have motives but love is not something which can be easily erased. Once it takes place, it's always marked like a stain." She patted on my shoulder, "Do not give up."