The New God Series Shorts and One Shots.

Missing Out

Amber's Point of view

I was sitting in my living room, I'd been reading a book I'd bought not too long ago. It was getting pretty good but my attention was drawn away from the book as I felt something that I'd become rather familiar with recently. It was only a few weeks away from my due date and it seemed like my son was pretty active already even though he wasn't even born yet.

Fairly often I would feel him kicking. The feeling was kind of reassuring since it meant that he was still healthy, but it wasn't exactly the most pleasant feeling either. I knew that it might not be too long before he would be born, or it might not be for a while yet since babies don't always come on their due date, sometimes they come early, and sometimes they end up being late. Either way, It probably wouldn't be long before I would have Luke, my little baby boy.

After I thought about it for a while I'd eventually decided to use the name that Percy had suggested for a boy. It's not that I hadn't come up with anything else, I had, I just decided that I liked Percy's suggestion more than most of the names I'd come up with myself. I'd thought about using my father's name since I had been extremely close to my father but eventually, I'd decided against it, maybe someday I would have other children and name one of them after my father.

I was kind of sad that Percy couldn't stay with me not just because I still loved and missed him, or because I would like his help to raise Luke, but also because it meant that he wouldn't be with me to witness any of the important moments in Luke's childhood, heck he wouldn't even be able to be with me now when I was so close to giving birth. If Percy was here, not only would we still be happier, but we would also be doing many of the same things that couples do when they are expecting a baby.

The one thing that had occurred to me that couples who are expecting normally do was letting him feel when Luke kicked. obviously, since Percy hadn't been able to stay with me I couldn't do that, and I knew that he probably wouldn't be there when it finally came time for me to give birth to Luke either. obviously, I wished he could be, but I also understood that he was just trying to keep us safe since if he stayed we could be hurt or worse and I knew I didn't want to lose Luke.

Even though Luke hadn't even been born yet I knew I was already fiercely protective of him, and if something happened to cause me to lose him now I would be devastated. Just the thought of possibly losing him terrified me The knowledge that once he got older he would be in danger only made it worse and in the end, I finally shoved those thoughts aside knowing that I couldn't afford to worry about what-ifs.

Once he is born my first priority would always be Luke like it should be. I knew raising him on my own wouldn't be easy but I would do what I had to so he would have a decent childhood. I was still worried about whether I could really be a good mother but I wasn't going to give him up for adoption so I would have to just put those worries behind me and do everything I could for him so he would have a good life.

Eventually, I managed to once again shove aside my worries, for now, removed my hand from my now rather large baby bump, and picked my book up once again, I went back to reading it and although Luke still kicked occasionally I ignored the feeling since I had pretty much gotten used to it since it had been happening fairly often recently. I knew that once Luke is Born I probably wouldn't have much time for reading since I knew that taking care of him will be a lot of work, and certainly not an easy task. The majority of my reading for a while would probably be reading to him.

Another rather difficult task that I would have to try to do sooner or later after Luke is born would be losing all the weight I'd gained during my pregnancy, I knew I'd put on quite a bit, and only a small portion of that was Luke. I'd been overweight for a good portion of my childhood and I'd finally managed to lose most of the excess pounds when I was in high school, but I knew that now I had put that back on plus more, and I could barely stand to look at myself in the mirror. I knew I would try to lose that again after Luke is born but he will still be my first priority, Hopefully, I would eventually lose the weight but I already knew from experience that it definitely wouldn't be easy.