Baby Tommo (1)

It's gotta be Lou only Lou.

He broke away.

"We can't" was his response, I could see he felt really bad about what happened, I laid my hand on his shoulder, his muscular shoulder. It felt different to Lou's but it was good different.

"Why the hell does it keep happening?" I asked confused, this was frustrating me to hell, I'm not a cheater, never have been and I know Harry wouldn't purposely hurt his best friend, this is definitely not who we are!

"He's gunna know it happened" Harry looked spooked, he could hardly turn to look at me, and I certainly didn't trust myself if he did look at me again.

"You have nice shoulders" I cooed, before I could stop myself.

"You have nice um...lips?" he said confused, but I didn't mind.

"Better to kiss you with my dear" I teased, he looked really startled as I said it, so I realized that I had taken this all too far. I reached out to my phone which was situated on the edge of the coffee table we both had our legs leaning on.

I sent a quick message to Lou/

To: Lou.

I love you.

He replied instantly.

From: Lou.

STOP SNOGGING HARRY!!

I stiffened, how did he know?

From: Lou

Joking babe, I love you too xxx

Harry got up and rustled around in the kitchen, when I heard him rattling some keys.

"See you later" he muttered before leaving the apartment.

Now I'm going to lose Harry and Lou.

Great..

***

I dialed Lila's number; it rang four times before she answered.

"Hello?" she giggled on the other end.

"Lila, I need to talk to someone" I whispered, unable to raise my voice any louder, as I was ashamed of myself.

"Just wait Jay" she said into the phone, but in the background I could just make out the words "Harry, just wait Jay wants to talk to me"

Fantastic, Harry is with Lila.

"I did something bad, and I don't know what to do, I just need someone to talk to." I told her, she sighed and fiddled with something.

"Okay look I'm a little busy but I'll text you a number of my therapist, she's a great listener, don't knock it okay. They are like paid to be friend for an hour and there is no worry about them leaking anything"

"Um, alright" I didn't know what to say, or think or do. A therapist? I've never been before.

After she hung up on me - probably to go shag Harry- I stubbornly called the number she had sent me, I booked an appointment for that morning and rushed over there as soon as I could, desperately hoping that nobody would see me. If this got out everyone would think something was wrong, it would be all over the news and Lou would be upset.

***

Receptionist looked at me, when I approached her desk, she smiled her fake smile before asking me if she can 'help' me.

"I made an appointment" I whispered embarrassed.

"Are you the 11 o'clock?" she asked me, checking her appointment books.

"Yeah that's me." I sighed, really wanting to get this thing over with.

***

"Jay welcome. Lila has told me so much about you" the therapist greeted me as I went inside her rather stylish office. Stylish I sighed, why does everything turn back to the kiss?

"Good things I hope" I faked a good mood.

"So take a seat over here" she pointed to a rather comfortable looking couch, and I do what I'm told, anything to make this less painful was a good option in my book.

"So where would you like to start?" she sits down on a wheeled office chair, takes out a notebook which made me rather nervous. She's going to record this? There will be proof that I came here!

"Well you probably already know a bit about me, like how I'm engaged to Louis from One direction, and well this is my baby" I pointed down at my belly, she only nodded, and waited for me to continue.

"Well you see something bad has happened, well twice it has occurred" I tell her, too ashamed to say it.

"Well at least you're admitting it was bad, why don't you try and tell me what it is?" she scribbled something onto her note pad.

"Well you see, Harry and I kissed last night and again this morning and I have never had feelings for him and I'm sure he feels the same, but I don't know why it's happened, and Lou already knows about the first time and I just don't want it to happen again" I blurted out, not wanting to look at her in the eye, I was scared of her judgment.

"Jay, this is an easy one." She tells me, I look at her startled, not knowing whether I'd heard her correctly.

"Pardon?" I asked.

"Well I know exactly why this has been happening, these kisses occurred when Louis wasn't home am I correct?" I nodded, so she continued. "Well lately you're hormones have been very
confusing haven't they, and you've become very needy and wanting to be nurtured. So the kisses aren't sexual, they are just a way of your body reaching out, wanting comfort. When Louis has been absent your mind has turned to Harry, who is the one person who is as close to Louis as you are. He's so important to Louis, and that's why your mind has made the connection of the two gentlemen." She told me, and I sighed as relief washed over me it was all making sense now.

Of course I don't have feelings for Harry!