A Miracle That Changed My Life

1. Shattered dreams

Khushi

Maybe I have always been an introvert, that's why nobody thinks I could achieve great things. Or maybe because I do not have the best of health, my parents do not trust me to take care of myself. I have not known how to be independent yet because I have grown up in a cocoon. My parents have always cherished me and kept me in a bubble, safe from the outside world. But there are things that they don't know about me, they don't know I was bullied, they don't know I have anxiety issues and I have been on medication for a few years. I don't think I have the courage to tell them either, not because they wouldn't understand but because they would blame themselves for my miseries.

Because of my closed-up nature, I have never been able to tell them what I want in life and if I do tell them, I never fought with them fiercely for my dreams. And that is the reason my dreams remained unfulfilled.

I got a job in a multi-national company with quite a decent salary for a fresher but I couldn't persuade my parents to let me go make my own nest. I thought I was making them proud but apparently, it was not the case. I wish I had the courage to stand up for myself and for my dreams. I wish I could tell them that I know you guys love me but just trust me this one time.

So when they said NO to me, my inner voice yelled at me and asked me to say something but in the end, nothing came out of my mouth.

If someone looked at me now, they'd not be able to judge how miserable I was feeling from the inside because I disguised my emotions well. I have mastered the art of perfecting a smile over the years; a smile that ensured everyone that there wasn't anything wrong with me even when there was a massive storm brewing inside my mind.

My parents kept looking at me with hopeful eyes, waiting for my answer. I ran a couple of responses in my head to explain my feelings to them and I thought I would say, Papa, I am sorry but I am not okay with your decision. I want to do this job and you will have to support me in this.

But instead, I heard myself saying, "It's perfectly alright, papa. Jobs come and go. It was just some company anyway. I can get a job nearby. Don't worry."

They both immediately sighed in relief after hearing my response. For the past 15 minutes, they had been trying to make me understand that it wasn't safe for a girl to work in a gigantic city like Delhi.

I didn't want to disappoint them but I really wished they would stop disappointing me every time with their silly excuses. If we would just keep fearing for our safety, we won't be able to survive at all.

"Okay, I know you don't want my influence to get a job. But since you are not interested in working with me and your brother, I can talk to my friend and you can join his company. It is related to your area of expertise." Papa asked a little bit hesitantly. At least he knew I didn't want his influence for a job.

"No, papa. I won't let you put in a reference for me anywhere. I will never be able to do a job peacefully which I didn't get by myself. I will find a job on my own." I said as calmly as I could because I was getting mad.

I didn't need anyone's influence to get a job. I never wanted it. I knew I was capable enough to get a job on my own and I proved that too but it didn't matter anymore.

"Okay, as you say. I hope you understand me, Khushi. I am your father, I will never do anything against you. It is for your good only." He said to me with sad but hopeful eyes.

"It's okay, papa. I understand your point. Don't stress over it. I will be fine after some time." I smiled lightly at him and went back to my room.