Daily Malec Fix (Wattys 2017)

13. Getting to the Truth

(Save My Soul by JoJo especially for the flashback.)

***This might be triggering so please know that it's a story and if you ever need help get it! Also, have thousands of tissues***

Alec was staring at his right arm that was out of the long sleeved shirt. Alec was so pale that Magnus expected him to faint. He reached forward and quickly covered the hideous scars with his hands.

"Alec, look at me." Magnus shifted his hands so he could cover Alec's forearm with only one and lifted Alec's face by tucking his finger under his chin. "You are beautiful."

"Why did they do it?" Alec asked as a tear slid down to meet Magnus's finger.

"Alec, we're home. I need to clean you up." Magnus whispered as he ran his hand through Alec's hair. Magnus had wanted to go to the hospital but Alec had become hysterical when he mentioned it.

"Alec, I need to see your arms." Magnus sat Alec down in the shower in his bathroom and hurried to lock his bedroom door before returning. When he got back in the room his heart broke even more. Alec was looking at the bloody mess that was his arms and he wasn't crying, he didn't look angry, he just looked empty. It was like Alec was no longer there and Magnus was left with a shadow of his best friend.

Magnus worked quickly. He stripped both of them down to their boxers and turned on the water making sure to keep if off Alec until it was warmer. Then he used a wash cloth and slowly wiped at the blood carefully because he knew it had to hurt immensely. The blood kept flowing but he could actually see what they had carved into his arms. It wasn't just cuts, it was words. How could someone be so cruel? He was going to end them. Alec hiccupped but besides that remained unresponsive. He didn't even flinch when Magnus accidently hit a particularly deep cut.

Magnus decided that he would first get Alec cleaned up and in bed then he'd go after the guys.

It took him another hour to get Alec dried off and then he wrapped the wounds up, thankful that his mom was a nurse who had passed along her skills. He only wished they could go to the hospital and have his mom stitch up the gouges but he couldn't do it to Alec.

"Why did they do it?" Alec asked.

"I don't know." Magnus said because that was all he could think to say.

"Did you read it?"

"Yes."

"I wish they had just killed me."

"No you don't."

"Yes, I do."

"Well, I don't."

"Alec, nothing bad will ever happen again. I promise you." Magnus wrapped his arms around him again and kissed his hair. "I will always keep you safe.

"Where were you that night?" Alec asked the question that had been on his mind for all of those months; the question that kept Alec from being able to forgive Magnus. At first he had thought that maybe Magnus had ticked him and sent them up there, but by now Alec knew that wasn't the truth. Magnus was almost more hurt than Alec was by what happened.

"I'm so sorry, Alexander." Magnus squeezed his eyes shut.

"Why didn't you stop them before it happened?"

"I didn't know. I was getting us a drink, remember? And then my mom called." Magnus lost all of his strength and cried as they slid to the floor. "That was when we found out that her cancer was back. Don't think I don't regret taking so long to get back upstairs but I was scared. I didn't want whatever was going on between us to be attached to my mom's sickness. But, God, this was so much worse." Magnus slid his thumb over the bumpy, ugly scars. His vision was blurry from his tears but he could still make out the word "faggot". It made his blood boil all over again.

"I can't take it any longer." Alec whispered. "I haven't been able to even look at myself since that night. And every night I see them in my dreams. I need t-t-to-"

Magnus covered Alec's mouth with his finger to quiet him. "You need to get some sleep."

"I can't." Alec shook his head.

"I'll be here." Magnus helped Alec up and lead him to the bed. He got Alec to sit down by moving him like a Barbie. Alec stayed still as Magnus turned off the light and closed the blinds. Then Magnus went to the bed and pulled back the covers. He got in and pulled Alec down.

"Sleep. I'll make sure nothing happens. I will never leave again, ever." Magnus whispered and he held Alec just listening to his heart beat and choppy breathing until it became steady. He thought back to what had happened the next day and even now he didn't regret what he did, but he wished that Alec could get beyond it because there was no way Magnus was going to let Alec go again.

A/N Finally we know at least part of what happened! What do you think? I'm sorry for it being gruesome and horrible. I saw it in a dream I had of course I don't struggle with the same things so it was other things they carved into my arms but yeah I decided I had to write it to get it out of my head and see a way to heal from that. 25 votes and 50 comments for the next chapter. And we're almost to the end of what I've written. 

Or should we stop hear and continue like normal. I really don't want to bug you all with notifications! I really thought we'd get through maybe 3 hahahaha You all amaze me! and I'm fine updating all day. 

Question: What's your best advice to heal from bullying or your own thoughts that bring you down?