No Longer Just A Fan

Meet Ricky Alvarez

May 7, 2015

Katy's POV:

"OLIVER, OVER HERE NOW!" Coach Perez screams. "The rest of you girls can head back to your dorms. See you all at practice tomorrow!" I hang my head down as I walk over to her. I sucked ass at practice today. She's probably gonna chew me out.

"Yeah, coach?" I ask while trying to make as little eye contact as possible. "What was that today?" I shrug my shoulders in response. "In all my years of coaching, that was honestly one of the worst practices I've ever witnessed from one of my players. This season you've hit at least one home run in every game, and caused an out over almost every ball that's come your way. But today, you didn't make a single hit and missed everything thrown to you. What's up? This is not the Katy Oliver that brought excitement back into our team."

Ever since Jennette and I got signed with Columbia records, sleep has not been my friend. We've released a few songs to get people hyped for our new album. Because of that, we're either recording our other songs for the album or doing interviews for recognition. And if we're not doing that, I'm at softball practice or in the library trying to study and keep my grades up for nursing.

With all of these things going on and Ariana being on tour, we've hardly had time to spend with each other. And when we are together, one of us always ends up falling asleep from exhaustion. It sounds bad but neither one of us mind, as long as we're in each other's presence. I personally find it to be easier to sleep when she's around honestly. I just feel relaxed in her arms or snuggled up with her on the couch. Her presence is just the safest feeling in the world, making sleep an easy thing.

Another problem that's caused me no sleep is I've been have heavy alcoholic withdrawals, as well as sexual tension. I went from drinking everyday and having sex with someone every day/every other day, to not drinking anything or sleeping with anyone. At first I was actually doing really well with just going cold turkey on everything. But then the stress kicked in and I once again did not have Ariana around enough to help it fade.

I haven't touched her once since we got back together either. Sure there's been tons of times we've came extremely close to doing stuff, but I've always pulled away and told her it wasn't the time yet. I know it's been two months, but I still haven't fully gotten over my old ways yet. I haven't slept with anyone or cheated on her anything. Not that I've ever felt the need to or anything because she's my true happiness. I'm just afraid my old sexual ways will kick in and I'll end up hurting her somehow. I wasn't exactly the easiest person during sex. I didn't want Ariana to be a victim in that.

"I'm fine coach. I'm just really tired is all. I promise it won't happen again." Coach Perez continues to stare, making me shift uncomfortably in place. "Katy, I know you're capable of doing amazing things but you realize you can't be all three, right?" "What do you mean?" I ask furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.

"I mean you can't be a soft player, singer, and a nurse. I understand being a soft player and nurse, or a softball player and a singer. But you can't be all three. That's not healthy. Now when you first got here, what was one of the first things you said to me?" I sigh heavily before answering, knowing I had let my first real dream get crushed with other fantasies.

"To be a part of the Women's College World Series." "And what starts a week from today?" "The Division softball tournaments that make or break teams to get in." Coach Perez nods her head at me. "That's right. Now you're gonna have to shape up or I'm gonna have to bench you for the first few innings during the game, alright? I don't want to do that, but I will if I have to. I'm concerned about your health. It's not fair on your body and it's also not fair on this team. Look finals are over with now. Go tell your management and Jennette that you need to get rest before these tournaments start. You promised me you'd give your all and put softball as your first dream before anything else. I'll be damned if I let you take back your word. I'm not doing this for my sake either. I'm doing it for your sake. You know why? Cause the Katy Oliver I signed this time last year would've kicked your ass for letting all these things get in the way. Now shape up before I find a time machine to bring her into the present to do it for you."