No Longer Just A Fan

Under the Mistletoe

Katy's POV:
Oh. My. God. Who comes up with such things?!? I really wanna slap the shit out of Jennette for ever bringing me here in the first place. I'm just glad to be done with that testing. I mean I guess it wasn't all that bad, it's just thinking about the fact of why you're doing it. Sure every girl has wondered what it would be like to have a dick, but getting tested to see what size you would possibly be, that's just a wee bit too much in my book. I'm only doing this because Jennette claims Ariana would enjoy it. I tell you what, that girl is into some weird shit nowadays. But I love her nonetheless, which is exactly why I haven't ran out of the store yet.

"How'd it go?" Jennette asks when I walk back out to her. For the testing you have to go to a room in the back. Thank God no one can join you. "The things you do for love." I say shaking my head as the two of us laugh. "What are you gonna do if you end up with a three inch warrior?" Jennette asks. "Obviously leave the store and tell no one. I don't think I could handle hearing 'is it in yet?' from Ariana." The two of us laugh.

"So I have your results." The store lady says coming out with a piece of paper. "Go easy on your girlfriend." She says smirking while looking at my abdomen and handing the paper to me. I totally forgot I'm still in my sports bra. "She's not my girlfriend." I say under my breath while taking the piece of paper. "Eight inches?" Jennette says reading over my shoulder. "Oh my God." "Hey, she'll be saying that too!" The lady says. "CAN YOU NOT." I yell. "I cannot not." "Oh I love these jokes! Who's there?" Jennette says getting excited. "No, Jennette." "No Jennette who?" "That's not...you know what never mind. How much do I owe you for whatever this is?" I ask the lady. "Well that depends. Are you going to do the build a dick next?" "I should've just stayed at the game."

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"Now was that so bad?" Jennette asks when we get in the car. I'm sure my hair right now explains how bad it was. It looks like it's been raped by squirrels from all the pulling on it I did in there. "I. Fucking. Hate. You." I say to Jennette as I put my car in reverse. I banned her from driving us anywhere ever again. Yes, I'm going to be that friend. "Why are you so on edge? Most girls would be excited to be able to spice up their sex life with their significant other. Especially if you get to be with each other in a way you've never been able to before." I sigh in defeat knowing she has a point. This whole thing is just weird though.

"How do I even present this? Tell her you drug me here against my will and convinced me that the male version of Katy with the eight inch dick was a new form of sexual bonding together?" "Well when you put it like that then it doesn't sound romantic anymore." "And this was ever romantic how?" "Good point. Just sing that dick in a box song. It'll all be chill." It goes quiet for a few seconds before Jennette speaks up again. "What would you do if you had a dick for a day?" How did I know that question would be asked by her? "Well first I would be like an elephant with its trunk, and then second I would honestly run up to random people on the street, pull down my pants and say 'look at this. I didn't have this yesterday!' What would you do?" "Every hot chick I could find. Speaking of hot, it's December in Tennessee and you're wearing a sports bra comfortably. How does that even happen?" "Because in Tennessee, it's eighty one week and snowing the next. There is no in between. The weather is bipolar as shit."

We finally make it back to my house. I see a random car is sitting in my driveway. "That's mine and Ariana's rental car." I sigh in relief knowing I don't have to deal with anymore crazies today. Well besides Ariana in bed. Did I say that?

"So I think I'm gonna go hangout with Lindsey and maybe stay the night with her." Jennette says as we get out of my car. "What? Why?" "Well Ariana is loud as hell without having sex. I can only imagine how loud she will be tonight and I don't want to hear anything. Your house is huge but her voice carries everywhere. I don't want to hear my two best friends going at it like rabbits. Lindsey understands completely so she offered for me to stay the night." Jennette explains. "Says the one that took me to build a dick." "Hey just because I don't wanna hear you two doesn't mean I don't wanna help you two out a little." "Help us out with what?" Arianna says scaring the crap out of us. We barely have time to get in my house and shut the door before she shows up.