I wake up in an okay mood, which is odd. Usually when I wake up all I want to do is go back to sleep and not have to go to the hell that is school. If I go to school, I get to see Phil, so I suppose that's a good reason to feel okay about it. I want to get there as soon as possible. I want to see Phil Lester.
Whenever we talk I feel this sort of tingle, which I honestly can't tell if it's physical or if it's just in my mind. My cheeks always feel hot, a blush spread across them. This must be what it's like to like someone- as a friend, obviously.
I take a quick shower, causing my hair to go curlier than usual, which I don't mind too much. I pull a large, light grey sweater over my head, along with a pair of white shorts, covering enough of my thighs so that no scares poke out. No matter how much I hate having scars, I deserve them. I deserve the pain because I'm worthless like everyone always tells me. Everyone except Phil, because Phil is insane, but that's a good thing.
I look at myself in the mirror, frowning. I forgot a flower crown! I pull out one that consists of silver flowers, placing it gently on my head of curls. I look back in the mirror and smile. I like the outfit. Not so much the boy in it, but maybe I can work on that. Maybe. There's nothing about myself that I love- okay maybe the curls. I don't love anything.
That's a lie. I love Phil. Platonically. Bad things happen when I love people, but surely Phil wouldn't hurt me like they did. Maybe being my friend is all a ploy so that he can hurt me.
No. Surely not. He doesn't shout at me like they did. He says nice things to me like they didn't.
YOU ARE READING
TOO GOOD ; Phan
Fanfiction"Too good to be good for me, Too bad that that's all I need." //Some chapter will have TW written at the top if I decide they need a trigger warning// [COMPLETED]
