TOO GOOD ; Phan

e l e v e n

When Dan walks towards me, I have to take a double take to make sure it's him. There's still the same pretty- I mean, average, curly brown hair atop his head, but there's no pastel. He's clad in a fully black outfit. I use him wearing pastel as a reason for us not being able to like each other, but honestly, I prefer his pastel attire. Him being dressed like this doesn't feel like, well, him.

I ask him about it, receiving a fairly obvious answer, though towards the end of our conversing he starts to get stuttery. I'm guessing it's just from not speaking to many people, but surely he speaks to his parents a lot.

So if I prefer him in pastel than black clothing, then maybe I don't have a reason for disliking him. Maybe we're just meant to have nothing to do with each other, like anti-fate. It's not that clothes have anything to do with whether you like someone or not, but, stereotypically, the pastel boy is happy and doesn't become a friend of the punk boy. 

Still, I now have no reason to not want to be his friend, so I should. Regardless, he'd probably turn me down, being that he's scared of me. Not now though.

"Uh, Ph-Phil?" He asks, bringing me out of my thoughts about him.

"Hm?"

"Could I um- well I need, do you, uh, have a spare p-pen, and could I b-borrow it?"

"Yeah, sure! You know; you don't have to be scared of me."

He chuckles a little, "It's not exactly that eas-sy."

"And why's that?" I question, handing him my spare pen.

"Because you're scary. How'm I supposed to not be scared of someone scary?"

"I promise I won't kidnap you and lock you in my basement. There, still scared?"

"The fact that that kind of thing crosses your mind is scary."

"It was a joke, I don't actually do stuff like that."

"Are you sure?"

"Not unless I don't like the person."

"Wait- wha- I- we should probably do our work."

Smooth Phil, real smooth. You told someone who's still scared of you that you like them. Round of applause for the person who after all of these years tried to make a friend, and fucked up. Not that I like him, but I don't dislike him, so I think that might be the same thing.