TOO GOOD ; Phan

t w e n t y t h r e e

I can't sleep, so I'm writing a new part!! (it's 12 am for me).

By the end of the science lesson, the sky is overcast yet again, grey clouds filling what was previously a few shades of blue, all mixed together. I like blue, well I like some things that are blue. I like blue skies, and that really pretty shade of blue of Phil's eyes- I'm mad at him. He's a punk asshole. His eyes aren't pretty- okay they are but in an 'I dislike you strongly but I can still appreciate your beautiful eyes' way.

The halls are all packed, so many people around that only a few people notice me, or only a few bother to spit insults at me. "faggot", "cunt", whatever else pops into their minds. All of those insults, and yet the one from Phil still hurt me more, though it could be seen as less offensive.

I make the decision that there's no chance of me being anywhere close to comfortable inside, so I'll take my chances with getting soaked outside, though I see no appeal in that either.

"You're not actually going out there, right?" A girl asks me once I reach the door, her voice seemingly friendly. It takes me off guard, someone saying something to me with no intent to tear me down. She's called Louise or something.

"Well, I'd rather be out there than in a stuffy room crowded by teenagers that all hate me."

"Yeah, you're the boy that gets, like, beat up a lot and stuff."

"uh," I say, scratching the back of my head, "yeah."

"Too bad. You know, if it makes any correlation, I don't hate you. To be honest I think you're pretty cool with this pastel thing going on."

"Th- thanks."

"Maybe I'll see you around some time."

"Yeah, I suppose you might."

"Have fun getting wet. Wait, I didn't think that sentence though, did I?" She says with a laugh.

I leave abruptly after the encounter.

Looking around the entire school ground, I can only see two other people outside, Pj and Chris. Of course they'd be. They tend to stay away from people.

Louise seemed just sweet. Nice and wholesome. I like her, and that's not something I say often. It's weird that something I've wanted for so long happened so simply and in such a short amount of time. She may be good, but I don't feel the same thing I felt with Phil. I don't understand.

"Oi, peej, Howell's come out to play," Chris shouts.

"Chris, would you please shut the bloody fuck up," he says, then turning to me. "Sorry about him, he's, well he's a twat."

"Hey! Standing right here."

"I can see that."

"I hate you."

"Nah, you love me."

"That is actually a fact."

Three people have said things to me that didn't hurt me today. This must be how it feels to have friends, except maybe not because I doubt any of them actually like me in any way.

Eventually, I reach a tree, where I sit down and lean up against, just like earlier this morning before I decided Phil Lester is a dick.