Daughter of Beorn: The Hobbit Fanfiction

Fire & Fate

He cannot be serious.

After asking Bard if we could take Kili inside, he replied with a: "No. I'm done with dwarves. Go away." Then he attempted to slam the door.

Just as I was about to say something I'd ultimately regret, Bofur stopped the door with his foot and addressed the stubborn bargeman. "No, no, no! No one will help us; Kili's sick. He's very sick."

Bard glanced at Oin & Fili before allowing us inside. I shot the man a quick glare before following Bofur and the other dwarves. Once we got inside I helped carry Kili over to a nearby bed. "Come on. You'll be fine." I muttered.

"How long has he been like this?" Bard asked.

"He started showing severe signs of pain this morning when the other dwarves left." I replied.

Bard nodded curtly and began rummaging through a cupboard. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I turned away from Kili momentarily and sighed.

"Kyja? Are you okay?" Fili inquired.

"I'm fine!" I snapped. "My god, can't I be left alone for one minute without someone questioning my well-being?"

Fili's eyes flickered to the ground before meeting mine once more. "That's what I thought." He said. Before I could reply, he strode back to Kili and murmured a few inaudible words.

You hot-tempered, self-centered twit. Mithren scolded me. After all he's done and said to you, that's your answer?

I licked my lips nervously as my chin trembled. It wasn't right, was it?

No! It wasn't! If I was a human I would be slapping you across the face!

Since when did you gain such a strong attitude?

Ever since I realized how oblivious you were to his love!

My mind stopped as the words Mithren just stated suddenly clicked.

... I can't love him back.

Why not?

After the Master did... that to me, I had trouble trusting a man, let alone a person for some time.

But he's different! He loves you Kyja! Your heart could finally be mended and-

Out of the blue I snatched Mithren off of my shoulder and held her firmly in my fist. She desperately tried to escape my grasp as I squeezed her body tighter by the second.

My heart can never be mended! Don't you understand? I am beyond repair! Fili is stupid for falling in love with me! I will only ruin him.

Kyja- please, I can't-

I have been scarred for the rest of my life. I have been exposed to the utmost form of evil. Whenever I look at my body, I never feel clean. I used to constantly scrub my arms and legs, thinking that there were some remnants of him on me. Now I realize that most of the pain is on the inside. And that is something that can never be fixed- especially by love!

Realizing that my eyes had been closed the whole time, I opened them to see Mithren's limp body in my hand. My mouth fell open as I gently stroked her feathers.

"I'm so sorry...." I choked. "This only proves my point. I always end up hurting the ones I care for." Slipping out the door, I knelt down my the water and scanned my surroundings. I took a deep breath and softly placed Mithren's body onto the water's surface.

"Goodbye, my friend." I whispered. "I suppose I'll never know why you came to me."

All of a sudden, Mithren dissolved into a dust-like substance and sunk into the murky depths of the lake's interior. I stepped back in surprise and shook my head.