Daughter of Beorn: The Hobbit Fanfiction

Coming to Terms

I soon snapped out of it and muttered a curse. "Now's not the time to think of something as pathetic as that." I said aloud, to myself. A scowl pulled at the corner of my lips as I unfolded the bodysuit and began to slip it on. The fabric felt smooth against my skin, and once I'd finished, I noticed how form-fitting it was. I scoffed. "Get over yourself, Kyja. There's bigger problems to focus on besides whether or not you think a man finds you beautiful." I soon leaned my head forward, submerged the washrag into the bucket, and pressed it against my face. That is when I heard a voice, as clear as tinkling bells, speak to me.

"I think you boo'ful, Mama."

I nearly jumped out of my skin. I threw the rag aside and spun around quickly, seeing if my eyes truly were deceiving me again. There, standing on the flat bedroll, donned in a small white nightgown, was my daughter. My Mira. Her gray eyes seemed even brighter in the limited moonlight spilling through the room, and she sleepily brushed her hair out of her face. Tears were already making their way down my face as I forced a smile and knelt down. "Th-Thank you, sweetheart... I think you're beautiful too. So, so beautiful." My defenses were down in front of her.

Mira rubbed her eyes before drowsily walking in my direction, climbing onto my lap, and wrapping her arms around my neck. "I'm sleepy, Mama... we go to bed now?" I gasped slightly at her embrace- simply because I had missed it for so long- but not hesitating to return it. I protectively wrapped my arms around her little body before pressing several kisses to her head. I knew this was a hallucatination, a dream- something fake. But I didn't want to accept it. My little girl was back with me again. I was holding her again. I didn't want to live in the reality that didn't have my Mira.

"Of course, sweetheart. We'll go to bed."

I made sure to keep my little one comfortable as I made my way over to the bedroll, gently setting her down before lying on my side and then drawing Mira close. She snuggled into my chest before lifting her head some and meeting my gaze. "Mama... it's time that you let me go now."

The words hit me like a dagger to the heart. If this was some... ethereal fabrication, who was talking to me? The Valar? That didn't take away from how much they hurt. How could they expect me to do something like that? She was my daughter! She was my child! Shaking my head, I gave Mira a warm smile as more tears streamed down either side of my face. "But, darling... Mama doesn't want to let you go." I set my jaw as my chin started to tremble. "I don't want to let you go, sweetheart. I-I'm not strong enough to do that, and... I love you too much to just forget about you." I couldn't stop it at this point. The ache in my chest had grown too strong, and sobs soon started to wrack my body as I held my daughter close to me, tightly, in fear that she would be ripped from me again. "I'm s-sorry, Mira... I couldn't protect you. I- I failed... I-I'm so sorry, love."

I started to cry even harder when Mira began to whimper, and buried her head further into my chest. I encompassed the little girl in my embrace, smoothed out her hair, kissed her head, and reassured her every way that I could. "Mama... it's not you fault.... Not you fault. Please, no be angry!" She sniffled.

The Valar, the heart of a child...

Releasing a breath, I adjusted Mira slightly and moved her hair from her face. I looked at her in the eyes while gently stroking her cheek with my thumb. "Oh, sweetheart... listen to me, okay?" I whispered. "I always want you to know how much I love you. I love you so, so much. You will always be my beautiful, kind, compassionate, sweet little girl. My princess. Do you know that?" When she nodded, I cracked a smile and softly, shakily, pressed my lips against her forehead in a tender kiss. "Good... I never want you to forget that. No matter what happens, I will always be your Mama. No one will ever, ever, change that. I will always be your Mama, and you will always be my daughter. My Mira."

We were now lying on the bedroll, our foreheads leaning together, and both of her hands wrapped around my fingers. Mira blinked her own tears away before nodding. "An- An' you awways be my Mama."

I smiled widely in reply, the ache of reality and the joy of reunion battling one another in my heart. "Yes, sweetheart. I will."

I eventually fell asleep later that evening, but not after staying up for as long as humanly possible to spend time with my daughter. I watched Mira drift off to sleep while examining every part of her, her wavy black hair fanning out against the bedroll, her beautiful and chubby cheeks spotted with freckles, the 'O' shape her lips made from lying on the side of her face, the indents of lines across the palms of her hands, everything.

I knew she would be gone when I woke up. But to have this last moment with her before the chaos that would ensue in the days coming: it was evidence that there was indeed good in this world. I would never forget Mira- even if I wanted to, I could not.

No, I would not forget her.

Instead I would fight for her. I would fight for Mira, and for every single other person that had been persecuted. I would fight for the husbands and wives that lost their spouses. I would fight for the families that got torn apart in the midst of war. I would fight for my right to someday have happiness again, with Fili in my arms, and Mira in my heart.