My Deadly Mistake (Jerome Valeska/Gotham FanFiction) [Book 1]

Faded

"Hey watch where you're going bitch!"

"Sorry..." I mumble as I keep my face down towards the ground. I only let my eyes glance up occasionally so I can watch where I'm going. Other than that I keep my hands shoved in the pockets of my oversized black hoodie. My hair was already a mess when I left my apartment, but now it is a major disaster from the constant city wind.

I just had to get out of my apartment. I felt like I was going to suffocate in that tiny place, and with everything that has happened in it I just couldn't take it anymore. I know most people would say that going out into Gotham City itself would probably provide no consolation either but for me it seems to be comforting me during this confusing time.

As I'm walking I can't help but remember the very first time I walked these streets. I think of the girl that I was when I first came and that girl seems so far away now. She had such high hopes for her future. She was so excited to begin her career and she felt that despite everything that had happened with her mom, things perhaps would begin to look up.

But now here I am. I've lost the sparkle and innocence of that girl, and instead I'm filled with dread and darkness. Not to mention I'm heartbroken and expecting my first child whose father happens to be a manipulative and cruel criminal. Oh well what did I expect? I was stupid to let myself hope that he was going to be okay with such life changing news.

I haven't even really been paying attention to where I'm going and I find that I'm in the medical district of Gotham. I glance over at the building next to me and I see it's a woman's clinic.

Jerome's words play over in my head and for a split second I wonder if he is right.

Am I in over my head? I mean yes I do know I'm over my head. I'm not even twenty years old yet. I'm too young to be having my first child. Maybe that's why Jerome wanted me to have an abortion.

I've stopped in front of the clinic and I think that perhaps I should do what he told me to do. I am young and I can have children later on in my life. That's what I'm thinking when I place my hand on the cold handle of the front door.

I'm about to pull it open but something stops me. I remember that I'm having Jerome's child. Who's to say that Jerome is ever to come near me again? Because of who he is, I can't have many things of him. But this...the little one inside me...my baby may be the only thing I can have from Jerome. My baby wouldn't remind me of all the bad things that happened with him. My little one would remind me of all the good things that happened between Jerome and I. If I get an abortion I will be losing all I have left of my lover.

I remove my hand as quickly as you move your hand away from a hot stove and I break out into almost a run from the clinic. I can't believe I let the idea even cross my mind. Once I feel like I'm at a good distance I stop to catch my breath. I place a gentle hand on my stomach and I say quietly, "I'm sorry if I scared you. Mommy is just under a lot of stress right now."

I must have gone back into that dreamy daze because I'm soon out of the medical district and into the more upscale shopping area of the city. Many of the people that pass me give me a dirty look, their noses scrunched up at seeing what probably looks like some low-level college student in their domain.

I've learned to ignore that though. If anything they are the ones who should feel like outsiders since like 99 percent of this city is what they call low life scum. If these people knew who I really was I'm pretty sure they would not object to having me here. That thought gives me a boost of confidence, which is enough for me to bring my head up from looking at the ground.

I take a moment to look up at the signs hanging in front of me and I notice one is a store dedicated to all things babies. I stop in front of the glass window, placing my hand on the cool glass as I look inside. Just looking at everything they have gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside.