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Chapter thirty eight

I stand in the kitchen and flip the pancakes Cole promised to make for me, banana pancakes. He is playing me banana pancakes by Jack Johnson and I can't keep the smile off my face as he sings.
"My kids will think it's so cool you played for them before they were born when your big and famous" I tell him.
"Nah, I'm not made for the big time. I'm happy with the bar scene" he tells me when he finishes and moves onto a soft classical piece I don't recognise.
I plate up the pancakes and meet him back at the sofa placing my rainbow painted toes on the coffee table.
"What's this? I don't think I've heard it before" I nod to the guitar and close my eyes for a second just listening to the soft plucking of the strings that almost sound like a music box or something.
"It doesn't have a name yet, just something I'm playing around with" he shrugs a little.
"You're writing this? It's great Cole, very soothing" I smile surprised just a bit, so far he has only played covers.
"That's a good thing, it's supposed to be a lullaby. For my unborn nieces or nephews" he points down at my stomach with his eyes then sighs putting the guitar aside so it rests against his leg.
"I'm sure they will love it, that is so sweet Cole. My babies and I thank you" I start to tear up at his thoughtfulness.
"It's a good thing I've got some time to work on it" he lifts his shoulders almost embarrassed and uncomfortable with the praise, that's something I understand well.
"Dig in" I say handing over a fork for us to share the plate.
"I thought you were full?" He chuckles as I stab off a giant piece and stuff it in my mouth.
"That was hours ago, I haven't eaten for weeks. If your gonna hate I'm gonna stab you next" I grumble as I chew.
"No way, I love a chick with an appetite. I'm actually having a great time with you Blondie, current circumstances excluded. Maybe next time you might wanna hang out with me even if someone isn't trying to kill you?" He smirks taking a chunk for himself.
"Sure, I mean in a few days you're going to have to redo that pedicure anyway and I want to try the pearly pink next time" I giggle pointing at his blood red toenails.

Jace's phone rings and Angel by Shaggy plays and I jump up to snatch it from the coffee table, I know that could only be my ringtone. A photo of me lights up the screen, I didn't even know he took this. I'm looking away lost in thought with a smile on my face, the ocean behind me and the breeze lifting my hair.

"Hey" I breathe anxious and relieved at once.
"Hey Angel, I'm home sweetheart. Wanna let me in?" His soft voice sounds tired and exhausted.
"Just a sec Jacey babe" I rush to the door and turn off the alarm, slide the bolts and then check the screen before unlocking the deadbolts.
I smile as I see him waving at the tiny camera and unlock the door.
"Elizabeth" Jace sighs and wraps his arms around me as I fling open the door and the barrier between us is gone.
I feel him shaking and his hands move over me like he needs to be sure I'm alright, his lips kiss me softly all over my face and in my hair. The longer he holds me the more emotional he gets and the tighter his arms become till his breath is hard and I feel his chest shudder as it rises and falls, I look into his eyes and they are wet and he kisses my lips like this is our last day on earth and it scares me.
He lifts me up and my legs automatically wrap around him and it feels like he can't get me close enough, he just holds me for the longest time while our lips move together.
"Oh god Angel, I love you so much" he whispers hoarse.
"I love you too Jay? What's wrong? What happened?" I say frightened, my heart picking up pace and not because of that amazing kiss.
"I sent a text, did you see it?" He asks brushing the hair from my face and setting me on my feet, I lean into his touch and feel his fingers shaking.
Something has really unsettled him, I don't think I've ever seen him so worked up.
"No, I didn't hear it come in" I say holding onto his waist not wanting to let go.
He takes his phone from my hand and I see his hands.
"Oh god Jace, you fought with him" I say taking his red, swollen and bruised fingers in my hands and running my thumb over them gently.
"It wasn't exactly a fight, he was cuffed and flat on his back. I just let loose on his face" he sighs and kisses my forehead.
"He couldn't fight back?" I ask and he nods just once.
"Good" I breathe.
"I kept my promise, his balls are currently the size of watermelon" he continues and opens the message he sent me.
I see Jack on a screen, cuffed and being led from his apartment. Oh fuck, he was arrested.
I look up at Jace and I start to cry, tears of hope and relief welling in my eyes.
"He's not getting out honey, we got him" Jace wipes my tears.
"Was she? Did he?" I stutter.
"She's alright, she was hurt and has been taken to hospital. She's being taken care of Angel" he assures me.
"Was she?" I can't ask it feels like my whole body is shaking.
"She was in the relationship forcibly, she didn't want to be there" a tear slides down his cheek and I sob, his big heart breaks me.
"Is she talking?" I ask, fuck is she braver than me?
"Yes, there is evidence of his abuse all over her" he nods in understanding. "Beth, I'm so sorry. He was very talkative, about you, to me" he whispers very quiet and I feel my world spin.
My stomach drops and my mouth goes dry, I feel my chin start to tremble as I look at his tortured face, now it makes sense. His mood, his emotional state, he knows. Oh fuck he knows everything!
"No. No, he didn't" I shake my head in refusal and I step back away from Jace and my hands go into my hair.
"After he was arrested, everything he said is admissible. It was recorded, I'm so sorry honey, I recorded it" he tells me stepping forward and I step back again.
"No, no no" I can't breathe.
"It's alright Beth, it's okay" he tells me biting his lip like I'm going to run.
"No it's not, my shame was all I had left. He took everything else, no it's not alright" my heart is racing and I'm hyperventilating.
I feel pins and needles in my hands and in my face and the room spins, I drop to my knees on the hard floorboards. My legs no longer have the strength to hold me up and neither does my neck causing my head to fall forward, I focus my eyes on the smooth dark grain of the oak and try to block out the devastation that's threatens to take me over. If he has told Jace what he did he will leave me, he will never want me again.
Jace drops down with me and his arms wrap around me and I sob, I hold onto his shirt, my fists clenched tight.
"Please don't leave me Jace, please" I whisper.
"Never, never. It's his shame, it's always been his shame. Not my Angel's" his lips are at my ear and he kisses my temple.
"I won't tell, I can't" I whisper.
"You don't need to sweetheart, he confessed. He confessed to it all, he confessed to stalking you, he planned to kill you. He planned to kill our girls, Izzy. He confessed to stalking the girls, he planned to use them like he did that girl. Like he did to you" Jace whispers and he is crying, the tears streaming down his face.
"Delete it, get rid of it. He was lying" I beg.
"No Beth, he wasn't. I can't delete it, well I can but it would do no good. The police already have it, what he said is putting him away for a very long time" he tries to soothe me but it just doesn't work.
"Everyone knows what he did to me?" I ask.
"No Angel, just Lauren, two officers, Bill and Frank know, and myself. You don't need to say anything to anyone but when you're ready we do need to sign some papers stating that what he said is true and correct"
Right, just all those people, no biggie.
"How would I know? I wasn't there" I groan.
"I think you are going to have to listen to it sweetheart" Jace picks me up off the floor and carries me to the sofa.
"No I don't want to hear it, I don't want to hear his voice" I shake my head hiding in his chest.
"I think I should leave, give you some privacy" Cole says quietly and I lift my head, I forgot he was here.
"So now you know too, maybe I should just get the tee shirt. You made me make you pancakes, you better fucking eat them" I sigh heavy.
"Beth, I understand. You don't need to say a thing to me, I already know. If you need someone, I'm here. I understand" he tells me looking me in the eye and I know without him saying it too, he does.
We share a moment of silence just reading the others sad eyes, our broken souls letting the other know we see them.
"Then eat your fucking pancakes" I nod telling him I understand too.
"It's going to be okay now sweetheart I promise, he's locked up, he won't even go to trial for a long time yet. He has no possibility of bail, he's proven he can change his identity, he's confessed he will try again. No judge will ever let him out. The girls are safe, you're safe. Sarah is safe, he can't hurt anyone ever again" Jace kisses my hair and rubs my back and finally I take a deep breath.
This is a good thing, despite my personal feelings on the matter Jace is right. The girls are safe and that's what's important.
"Sarah?" I ask breathing in the comforting smell of his neck.
"Your neighbour honey" he sighs relaxing with me.
"Are you hungry? I have pancakes for you too in the warmer" I snuggle.
"I could eat, but first Cole wanna give me a hand with some stuff from my truck? Only if your nails are dry, wouldn't want to chip them" Jace smirks at Cole.
"Sure man, here Mama hold this for me" Cole passes me his guitar and I frown, I wouldn't even know how to hold it.
"It's not a bomb I swear" he laughs at me and Jace lifts me off his lap to the sofa.
"I have a few of your things Angel, won't be long" he kisses my forehead before they both walk out the front door.
I look around the large room, still in all the moving chaos with boxes everywhere and none of the furniture in its rightful spot. I realise I do want my belongings here, my big dining table, my big couch, my big floor lamp, my books.
I play with the strings on Cole's guitar gently and cringe at the sound, the way he plays I thought maybe it was the guitar that sounded good but it's obviously just him.
Cole wheels in two large suitcases and I smile brightly, my clothes!
"You're such a girl" he rolls his eyes.
Jace carries in a storage box full of nick knacks and books and I smile grateful at him for knowing what I want before I do.
"Did Frank think you were robbing me? I'm surprised he let you leave with all this" I ask Jace.
"Kinda, Bill had to convince him" Jace tells me as he leaves to make another trip.