My entire life I've been a fuck up, a constant disappointment to my mom, always fighting, always pushing people away who tried to get close to me, always trying to be a hard ass and not show any emotion. When I told Seven I've never been in love with a dude before, well that wasn't entirely true. There was one dude before Dominic that stood by my side and it wasn't until he died that I realized that I did love him and whenever I think about him I felt the pain of loss all over again, the tears fight to come out but I wouldn't let them, I promised that I would never cry over him again. Like I said it's a long complicated as story, and I guess the beginning would be the best place to start.
I was my senior year of high school, and let's just say I wasn't the easy guy to be around. People who have known me my entire life, could see there was something different about me I was lashing out at some of my best friends. It got so bad that I was almost a loner, I say almost because there was one person who stuck by me, no matter how much of a dick I was to him and that was my boy Dartanian. I think he knew what was wrong with me before I did, but he never gave up on me and proved to me that he was a true friend. The day my life changed happened right before spring break, me and Dartanian were sitting at our usual table I was actually having a good day, I wasn't moody like I normally was.
"So what do you got planned for spring break?" Dartanian asked me. I just looked at him an smiled, he was really cute, his skin was somewhere between dark and milk chocolate, a shade darker than me, his eyes were a golden brown, and he was build like a bronze god.
"I'm not sure my mom is outta town so I'll probably just chill at home." I said.
"That's cool, I wish my parents would leave me alone for a whole two weeks." Dartanian said picking the skin off his chicken.
"If you want you an stay over my house, I mean I'm not trying to be all lonely and shyt." I said avoiding eye contact.
"Yeah I'll call my parents after lunch and....... why are they walking over here?" Dartanian said looking somewhere behind me. I turned to see who was talking about and knew instantly. They called themselves The Band of Seven they pretty much ran the school, everybody was in fear and awe of them, well everybody accept me. In fact now that I think about it I've gotten into it with one or two of them. Recently one of there little group members got killed in as drive by, and they made it a point to always have seven people in there punk ass gang. They walked over to our table and looked at Dartanian.
"You mind if we talk to your boy?" The leader Joseph said to Dartanian. He looked at me and had a silent conversation asking me if I wanted him to leave. "Let me rephrase that, get the fuck up so we can talk to this nigga." Joseph said pointing at me, Dartanian never one to back down from a fight stood up ready to take on all six of them.
"D' it's cool, I'' catch up with you later." I said trying to avoid doing anything that would make my mom have to cut her trip short.
"Aight, I'll be right over there if you need me." Dartanian said never taking his eyes off of Joseph. After Dartanian walked away they all sat down.
"Sorry about that, but your friend was some serious lack of respect issues." Joseph said smiling politely.
"He's not the only one." I said looking at Joseph, he didn't say anything he just smiled at his right hand man Chris.
"You know Amir, I like you. You have more heart than most of the niggas in this school. As you know we just recently lost one of our brothers and we've decided that you would make a perfect addition to our brotherhood." Joseph said as if I just won the lottery, I sat there looking at him as if he lost his mind.
"Thanks but know thanks. Besides I heard about all the shady shyt you and your flunkies do and I'm not with that type of shyt so I'm going to respectfully decline." I said smiling. Joseph's grey eyes turn pitch black and for a second I thought he was possessed.
"Listen because I'm only going to say this once, I'm not asking you I'm telling you. I can make your life a living hell, every time you walk out your house I'll have someone waiting to beat your ass, every time you try to talk to a girl I'll make sure one of my boys swoop in and steal her right from underneath your nose, you wouldn't be able to eat, sleep, or shyt without worrying about what I've got planned next for you." Joseph said through clenched teeth.
"Is that supposed to scare me? You gonna have to come harder than that, I'm not worried about any of ya'll because if I remember correctly didn't I already knock two of your boys out?" I said looking at his boys Trent and Silas. Joseph smiled and sat back in his seat, he snapped his fingers and one of them gave him a notebook and pen.
"Meet me at this address, tonight at midnight." He said handing me the piece of paper. "And please make sure you're there, I would hate for something bad to happen to your sexy ass mom." Joseph said standing up and walking away just as the bell rang.
The whole rest of the day I couldn't focus on anything but the piece of paper that was in my pocket. I waited outside the school for Dartanian as I waited one of Joseph's errand boys walked up to me.
"Look I'm not trying to scare you but Joseph is crazy, I think it would be in your best interest to show up. I've seen some of the fucked up things he's done and he wasn't bluffing when he said he'd do something to your mom." The dude said I couldn't remember his name for shyt.
"I'd kill him if anything happened to my mom." I said seriously.
"Look please just show up." He said walking away just as Dartanian walked up.
"What the fuck did he want?" Dartanian asked.
"Nothing just needed to ask me something, let's get outta here." I said walking towards Dartanian's car.
We got to my house and decided that we'd just chill out and watch movies. I really didn't feel like doing anything anyways. After going back and forth over what movie to watch we decided to watch the Last Dragon.
"So are you going to tell me what Joseph wanted?" Dartanian asked. I didn't respond, not because I didn't want too but because the less he knew the better.
"Like I said he didn't want anything." I said watching the movie. Before I could react Dartanian smacked me with a pillow.
"We keeping secrets from each other now?" Dartanian said laughing. I jumped up and tackled him off the bed and we started wrestling. Before long Dartanian had me pinned on the ground.
"Aight nigga you win, now get yo big ass off me." I said smiling, Dartanian just looked at me and licked his lips. I knew what he wanted to do, he stared deep in my eyes and I got lost. "D' don't." I said as he brought his lips an inch away from mine.
"So not really not gonna tell me?" Dartanian said.
"Dartanian it's nothin......" Before I could finish he pressed his lips against mine. We stayed like that for like ten seconds but for me it was a lifetime. Then I panicked, I pushed Dartanian off me and stood up. "What the fuck you doing D'? I asked pissed.
"Amir your my best friend and I am tired of keeping secrets from you. Amir I'm in love with you." Dartanian said looking me in the eyes.
"This is too much for me I need to get out of here. I'll be back in a few I need to go clear my head." I said walking out of my house as soon as I did an all black Crown Vic pulled up right in front of me. I looked inside and saw Joseph.
"I'm glad you made the right decision, now get in." Joseph said opening the door. I looked back at my house and saw Dartanian looking out the window.
"Man Aight." I said getting in the car.
