"It's All In The Past." (GRA) *In Edit*

Don't give up

"I said it. Just in time. I said it to him. He wanted to talk about stuff. Get his mind off of things. Probably get his mind off of you. He asked how everyone was. And I told him the truth. How you were still not over him. But that Jay was looking after you. Helping you. Making you smile everyday. He looked so upset. And so hurt. Like he was trying to process everything. I still don't think he has talked to Josh or anyone. And he genuinely looked like he was having trouble trying to find something to say. It was like. He wanted to continue talking. But he couldn't. He was about to leave again. But I didn't want to risk it. So I interrupted him. I told him. Michael. I said I love you. To him. To his face. And he just looked at me. He didn't say anything. Just... Looked. I started to cry. I had the weight lifted off my shoulders. But I was also scared. Why didn't he say anything? He could have just said no. Or just said yes. Or even tried to talk me out of it. But he didn't say anything."

I looked into his eyes and felt the pain as he spoke. Every tear he shed was like an emotional punch to the face. Every sob he did felt like I was being pulled further down with him. And every time he blinked. As more tears fell. I felt hopeless. I couldn't do or say anything to help him. He just sat there looking at me. Eventually I started to tear up as well. So much has happened in the past month or so. The least Vikk could have done was give him some closure.

"Lachlan. This is what we are going to do ok?"

He looked at me sadly. Yet like he was ready to do anything to try and see or talk to Vikk. Anything to be with him. And the worst part. Is that that was what scared me.

"Lachlan. First of all. We are going to wipe away our tears and think positive and strong thoughts. Thoughts that come into our minds that are when we were at our happiest. When we are truly happy. No half assed bullshit. Whether that has been in the past month. When you reached 1 million subscribers. Anything. We are going to hold onto those thoughts in our minds. And remember them. This is the moment we are going to remember. As the moment we became stronger ok. The more we think about the bad side of the past. The worse impression we obtain of the future. I need you to promise me right now Lachy. That you will not do anything stupid ok? We have one week until we see Vikk. And even if it means I never leave your side. You bet your ass that I am going to get you too London. I'm going to get you to Minecon. And we are going to see Vikk. We are going to sit down and talk to him. And we are going to find out what's going on ok. Promise me that you can look after yourself and that you can try and hold on to these thoughts."

He looked at me astounded. As if what I just said saved him from doing some horrible things. I needed him to understand that no matter what he is going through. That no matter what has happened in the past. The present or the future. That he will always have us with him. And we will always stand by his side.

"But. What if?"

"No buts. No what ifs ok? We are going to get through this week. Then we can really know what's going on ok?"

"Ok."

He stood up and pulled me up off the ground. He had to stop me from falling over as I didn't realise my knees had gone week from leaning on them. He pulled me in for a massive hug. Before we made our way inside. Jay opened the door for us and I let go of Lachy. Holding onto the door for support. Jay looked at Lachlan for a solid 10 seconds before he moved forward and hugged him.

"Please promise me your ok Lachy. I don't think I could think of what it would be like without you. Your staying with me from now on ok? We are going to go over to your house. We are going to grab your things. And we are going to move you in here for a while ok? Until Mitch and Jerome leave. You will have to stay on the pull out couch. But when we come back home. I want you to move into the spare room. Is that ok?"