Broken Misery (H.Styles Fanfic)

Chapter 31

Though his story crept me out a little, it was still very touching to find out that even when I thought I was completely alone, he was still there somewhere during the week to care. He cared about me, about his family, and even about the girl he cheated on me with. He cared about the guy I pretended to date, and that means the world to me.

Somehow I doubt his talk with Alfie did anything good. I know he was trying to save our friendship, and I truly appreciate the effort, but it doesn't change the fact that Alfie still doesn't answer his phone or his emails when I'm the one calling or sending a message. I keep trying but it never results in anything.

Now I don't know what to think anymore. I've been beyond angry with Harry for what seems like ages now, and I doubt I'd ever be able to look at him in the eye again and not see those green orbs traveling down to another girl, but the fact that he spent an entire week taking care of me without even my knowledge has got me wondering if maybe he could change again. He's done so much good, more than bad in the past month, and the way he spoke about earning people's trust again just showed how determined he is. Then there's also the fact that he absolutely wants two weeks to spoil me or whatever this means, and I've got no choice but to give it to him if I want a place to live.

Everything is so confusing. I think of what he did with Amanda and tears build up in the corners of my eyes, a pressure appears in the depth of my chest and my limbs go numb at the pain. Then I think of the good he's done and the changes he wants to make, and for some reason I see hope where there isn't. I feel for things that I ought not to. I fear that I see the good in him because I want to and not because there actually is some left, or because I need to since otherwise I'd hate him too much.

I try to stop thinking about Harry and everything he told me last night as I unpack my belongings and place them exactly where they used to be in the room. It's almost as if I never left, and the only thing missing is a spritz of my perfume in the room to make it smell exactly like me. But for some reason it feels all different since the last time I truly lived here, I actually enjoyed it.

Captain Oats and Princess Sparkle stare at me with their wide, reflecting plastic eyes from the dresser, almost as if they're reprimanding me for being so unhappy. I could've had a normal life and a normal college experience in a dorm, living with people and not in this posh house, but I couldn't even do that.

"Elena," Harry interrupts my reverie with two knocks on the door. "Elena, can I come in?"

I fold the last few t-shirts and sigh to myself. "You can but it doesn't mean I want you to," I say loud enough for him to hear through the door, but it was mostly meant for myself.

Harry carefully opens the door and peeks through the small crack, his nose being the only thing I see entirely. "Don't be angry, please," he demands quietly, a genuine tone to his deep voice that sends chills down my spine. "I hate it."
"It's funny because I hate you and it's not changing anything," I spit at him despite myself, not that he actually deserved it this time.

He pretends not to be affected by my comment and walks into the room, collapsing onto his butt on the mattress. He bounces a few times, probably testing the stability of the mattress since this one is a lot more comfortable than the one in my old bedroom, but he stops and drops his hands in his lap. "Are you angry because of the dorm stuff? If you want I ring the school and tell them that your building will be guarded by private bodyguards so it doesn't get mobbed. Or would you rather find a flat nearby?"

"Why? To facilitate your stalking skills?" I have no right to take it on him over the stalking thing since he did it because he cared, but now it just seems like the right thing to do not to fall soft on him. However, guilt hits me with his jaw goes slack. "I'll leave if you want me gone. If not, I'll stay until the end of the semester."