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Pen Your Pride

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               The car ride was pretty quiet and full of awkwardness. Neither of us spoke to each other, we didn't even look at each other. He kept his eyes glued to the window and looked outside at the people who were driving to go to the beach.

               Starbucks was pretty close to the beach, we won't get to see the ocean but we'll be very close. You could almost hear the ocean from the outside of the store. It was a pretty relaxing place, I liked going to it. 

               I coughed awkwardly when I stopped at a red light. I decided to look at Rayne - knowing he wasn't looking at me but I was wrong. He was already looking at me.

               "You're not stealing me away to fuck me right?" He asked, furrowing a brow.

               Oh, the gay irony in this.

               "No ..." I answered offhandedly, "unless you want me to."

                This time he coughed awkwardly, we need to stop coughing or we'll get sick.

               "Pass..."

               "I was joking," I snapped, "I wouldn't fuck you even if I were gay."

               "Of course you wouldn't."

               "What are you saying?"

               "Nothing, nothing." He drew his eyes back to the window and ignored me.

               Ugh. I want to hit him so bad. Why can't I hit him? Oh right, my saint of a sister keeps me under control. It's not nice to hit people, Jesse. I silently mimicked her.

               "Are you okay?" He asked.

               "I'm fine." I insist.

               "If you want to talk, you can trust me."

               Pfft, I don't need his psychologist side of him ganging up on my thoughts. My thoughts are private and can't be shared with the world. There's a reason why they are called thoughts and why no one else can hear them. Jeez.

               Then I thought of something, in effort of sustaining a friendly conversation, I decided to ask about his parents.

               "Hey, um. How are you handling your parent issue?"

               I could feel his eyes on me, I didn't look at him for the sake of the awkwardness. But he was looking at me alright.

               "I'm handling it very well. It's not really an issue to me. I respect their choice."

               "Even if it hurts you?"

               "Even if it hurts me."

               "But they're your parents. Don't give up on them. They will come around, I'm sure of it."

               He chuckled, "Maybe in their heads they will learn to accept me but they would never act upon it."

               "Why not?" 

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