College Life

Chapter Thirty-Seven

               I couldn't breathe, my whole world stopped. The air in my lungs escaped and left a very uncomfortable emptiness in my stomach.

               "Y—You can't leave," I stuttered. "You just bought this apartment. Please don't leave, please don't leave me."

               "Stop talking," he demanded.

               How could he tell me to stop talking? He just told me he's going back to Ireland and I'm just supposed to stay quiet? I couldn't let him go. I wasn't going to let him go. I'll take all the blame if he wanted.

               "Baby, please don't leave. I'm sorry. Forgive me for yelling at you. Don't leave me."

               "Jesse," he growled.

               The tears that lingered in my eyes finally escaped and streamed down my face. I felt heart broken for the first time in my life. It was a very unpleasant feeling and it hurt worse than getting stabbed. Not that I would know how that felt like.

               "Please," I begged desperately. "I can't live without you."

               I knelt in front of him and grabbed his hands. I felt something metallic brush against my skin and I pushed up his sleeves. The bracelet I gave him, he was wearing it. Why was he wearing it if he hated me so much.

               He wiped away his eyes as another set of tears rolled down his cheek.

               "Please," I continued to fight, "you just bought this place. Don't leave. I promise to leave you alone. Just don't leave. You can even hit me all you want. I'll stop being a childish arrogant asshole too."

               "Now who's the one not listening?" he rolled his eyes.

               "What?" I whimpered.

               He looked down at our hands, which he hadn't bothered to smack this time. "You didn't do anything wrong. You're just trying to keep me here."

               "Of course I am. I love you, baby. I love you so much. I can't live knowing that I made you leave the country."

               "This isn't about you, Jesse."

               "Then what is it about? Why are you torturing me like this? Why are you pushing me away?Why am I the only one getting hurt if it's not about me?"

               "You're the only one getting affected because I love you."

               I blinked, looking up at him confused. "That doesn't make sense."

               "It makes perfect sense. You're getting hurt because I love you and because you love me. Everything I do involves you, including my feelings."

               "So then why are you letting it hurt me instead of telling me what's wrong? Don't you know how much it hurts me to see you act so different and not loving me? It hurts so much. It eats away at my soul, killing me slowly."

               "It's not easy to just tell you things when you don't take anything seriously. I meant it when I called you childish. I can't take care of you like a baby, Jesse. And you ruined a completely wonderful dinner with your family."

               "Is that what this is about?" I asked.

               "No. Only a small part of it."

               Quickly, I got up and grabbed his face. "Then tell me! I can't take this anymore! Just tell me what is wrong so I can help you. I don't want to be treated like this anymore."