I'll Follow You (GirlxGirl)

35. I can only lose them for one reason

I smile as I see Ethan and Nathan come running towards the front door. While Sky is coming behind with my little creatures.

"Hunter!" They both yell as they come in the door, and I bend down to hug them both.

"How are you?" I ask as I kiss their cheeks.

"Fine." They answer and I smile. I stand up as I see Sky come in with the twins. She moves towards me as the boys run into the playroom.

"Hi, honey." I smile and lean in to kiss her soft lips.

"Hi, Hunter." She tell as I kiss Jace and Andi. They are getting bigger and their blond hair is growing a little longer.

"Here." Sky says and hand over Jace, who grab my hair right away as I hold him. I laugh as I kiss him on the forehead.

"How are you, Hunter?" Sky asks me as we both lay them on the floor on the blanket and I move down looking at them.

"I'm good, very good." I answer as give my babies a grimace and it makes them laugh. Sky lies down next to me and kiss my cheek.

"Are you sure?" She wonders worried.

"Yeah," I kiss her lightly.

"I just don't have anything to do anymore." I tell and sigh. I have painted and cleaned everything. Still, there are some weeks until I start working again. I am so lonely and bored.

"But how are you really doing?" She ask with her soft brown eyes that I love with my whole heart.

"Oh," I realize what she means.

"I am getting a hang of it." I smile to her and turn to my little boy, who is still stealing my hair. I chuckle as I take my it out of his hand.

"He is getting very curious." I laugh as I kiss his temple.

"Yeah, he steals my neckless as well." Sky grin as I meet her brown gorgeous eyes, but my little girl takes my attention as she starts babbling something.

"We have two soccer stars, a thief and a...a..."

"A singer?" Sky says and I chuckle.

"Yeah, I guess so." I smile to her, lean down to kiss her shoulder.

"I'm getting there, honey. Just wait for me."

I wake up as I feel a little hand on my face.

"Okay," I open my eyes and see Andi trying to get my attention again with a smile on her face.

"I am awake, didn't mean to fall asleep." I say as tickle them on the neck, and I smile of their laugh.

"I love you two, and I am sorry that I only see you four days a week, but I am trying every day. To make everything much better than it was. Especially for your mother," I yawn.

"So she does not need to be scared of me hurting myself, but I love you all way too much for that. And I am not letting anyone come back here before I know that your mother is not going to snap at me again. I want her to be happy and she is not happy if I don't stop that little voice in my head." I tell my children. It feels good to talk about it, and I get only a smile from my twins, but that smile is much more worth than any others.

"Why are you so confident with the kids, but not with me?" I hear behind me. I turn, but can't see her until Sky comes to my view next to me. She bends down and I take her hand in mine. There is sadness in her eyes and it is heartbreaking to watch.

"I-I don't," I shrug.

"Maybe, because I can lose you for so many reasons, but I can only lose them for one reason." I explain and she looks at me confused.

"I can lose you for anything, by what I say and do. But with the kids, the only way I can lose them is if you take them away from me." I tell and feel the tears slide down my cheeks, just by the thought of it.

"Hunti," She takes the tears away form my skin.

"I won't leave you, and you are never going to lose the children. We love you." She says and kiss my wet cheek.

"I know this is hard, it's hard for all of us. The boys miss you, and I don't like that I am keeping Jace and Andi from you, but I have to if I want you to become someone that can accept my love for you." She cries and I nod as I lay my arm around her neck to kiss her forehead, slowly.

"I'm trying, honey."

"I know. I might be a little impatient with you, but it's been a month now, Hunter. Don't you feel any changes at all?" She ask and a tear go down her cheek. I open my mouth, but I don't know what to say. There are some small changes, perhaps, but it's not enough for them. There haven't been a bad thought in my head, but that is because I haven't really pushed myself enough. I need to break my own limits.

"Give me more time and I will see what I can do, honey." I promise her and kiss the tear away from her skin. She nods with a little smile and her eyes are a little more lighten up then they were.

"I don't really understand you Hunter, when you were eighteen you accepted my love for you, but some years ago you broke down again. I don't see how that could happen." She says, confused while shaking her head.

"I don't know, honey. Maybe I just come into that part of my head where I shouldn't be." I chuckle and it makes her smile.

"Yeah, you better get out of there." She says and stroke my cheek.

"I know, and I know that I was better years ago, but I am trying to overdo that, because I don't like being so unconfident around you. I hate that I can't be with you, without being scared that you would hate me..."

"I don't hate..."

"There is something in my head that says that you would, and I am working very hard to get that away. I promise you that." I tell her and she smile.

"Thank you, Hunter," She kiss my forehead.

"That you talk to me, I love when you tell me something." She grin as she takes Andi in her arms and I move up next to her with Jace.

"I promise I say something to you every day, no matter how boring it sounds like." I smile to her and she lean in to kiss my temple.

"It's not boring, honey. Nothing about you is boring." She says and I nod.

"I ordered a new table, it will probably come tomorrow." I tell and she looks a little skeptical. It makes me roll my eyes.

"It's fine, you will like it." I assure her as Jace steals my hair again. Sky is usually the one buying things in this house, because she is so picky with everything. Just like her food, every Friday we must have pizza. Sometimes we have it two days in a row. It's okay, but I am getting tired of it. Now that I am alone, I can make whatever I want.

"I hope you are right." She says as she wrinkle her nose, and it makes me laugh.

"We have to go now, before it will be too late." She tells me and I sigh. This is the worst time of the day when they have to go. I kiss my little boy's cheek.

"I know you want us to stay." She says sorry as I kiss my little girl on the cheek as well.

"It's okay," I smile to her and kiss her softly.

"I love you anyway."