I'll Follow You (GirlxGirl)

24. Don't beat yourself up in there

We are finally back home, as the boys said. They have missed their playroom, but now they are sitting on the couch with Jace and Andi on their lap with Skylar in the middle. Sky has struggled since we came home for a couple a days ago. She has to be careful, so her recovery doesn't take longer than it has to. I feel like a mother of five, but I am not complaining.

Sky feels hopeless that she can't do anything, but I am too scared she will make her stomach hurt even more.

It's fun and the boys are very helpful. Like they are now. Sometimes I let them, feed them with a bottle. Ethan and Nathan seem very interested in them. I was a little worried they would be jealous about the attention, but they are more hooked up in everything that is going on.

They ask and ask every time when there is something we do, like changing diapers. The boys cleared right away when we did that for the first time. They stood while wrinkling their noses. Still, Ethan and Nathan are fascinated with them. Seems like they are happy to have finally gotten a brother and a sister. We are all glad to see them. Paula struggled a lot to hand them over to me afterwards. She loves them so much and she loves the names. Told me that it was a nice way to name someone after my brother and her husband. Sky told me he died when she was ten and that he was a very creative man. He builds a soccer goal for her when she came to visit and she loved it so much, that she broke it five years later. Don't really surprise me.

After putting everyone to bed, I am laying down next to Sky face down on the bed. Jace and Andi are lying in their crib. Cuddling into each other, the sweetest thing I have ever seen. Sky feed them and they both fell asleep, but in about two or three hours they will scream for more.

"It looks awful." Sky whispers and look up to see what it is. I look at her offended as I find her watching the vertical scar on her belly. She has studied it as I wait for her to look at me to realize what she just said, and she does.

"Oh, god. I'm sorry." She whisper as she leans her lips on mine, kissing me slowly. Every time we kiss, my body calms down to a level I have never felt since we first did it.

"It's okay, honey." I smile and she roll her eyes.

"I have this one scare, while you have," She counts on her fingers.

"Four big ones and like," Sky thinks for a little while as I clench my teeth, uncomfortable.

"Ten, maybe fifteen more." She says and notice my pleading eyes. I hate those scars. She cup my cheek, stroking my skin.

"I love you, all of you. There is no need to be ashamed of them." She promise me, but I watch her annoyed.

"Who was the one complaining, just minutes ago?" I remind her, chuckling a little, as she shrinks down on the bed.

"Yeah, but it's been almost nine years, Hunter and you still struggle with your own head." She tells me and sigh annoyed as she shakes her head.

"I'm trying, honey." I tell her and kiss her forehead, which makes her smile always.

"I know, Hunt, and I love you with my whole heart for that." I know she loves me, but I can't seem to accept those scars on my body. They are so gruesome and I can't understand how Sky can even like me.

"Don't beat yourself up in there." Sky warns me irritated and I wake up from my thoughts.

"I didn't..."

"I know that look in your eyes when you do it, so don't even try." She says annoyed, raising her eyebrows.

"I'm sorry." I say as I lean to kiss her forehead.